Counterculture

Counterculture: (n) the culture and lifestyle of those people who reject or oppose the dominant values and behavior of society.

Take any thirty years.

Yes—look back in your history book and isolate off a thirty year period and you will realize that every group of people who was deemed to be “counterculture” was ignored for ten years, rejected for the next ten, but by the third decade had gained position, if not predominance.

It also holds true for our common values. Case in point:

Divorce used to be never spoken of—ignored, if you will. Then for a while it was rejected as unacceptable. And now, it’s not only a part of our society, but it is generally assumed that any human being over the age of thirty-five has divorced at least once.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

An obvious example is the gay community, which was at first ignored, then heavily rejected, and now appears deeply rooted in the fabric of our culture.

Yet there are two outstanding exceptions to this theory—black people and women.

Our American citizens who happen to have black skin seem to have stalled somewhere between rejection and inclusion.

And women continue to be bandied about as sexual objects instead of living, breathing sisters in our fight for sanity.

’Tis perplexing. It certainly gives some food for thought.

For when I was a young man, the war in Vietnam was a symbol of courage and American will to fight communism. Enter the counterculture of anti-war. Now, the Indochina conflict is basically a very dark joke.

I, for one, am going to be very careful to reject to anything as counterculture—because even the faith I hold dear, which proudly meets in churches every Sunday, was once condemned to be a counterculture, secretly fellowshipping in the tombs.


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Counterclockwise

Counterclockwise: (adj) in a direction opposite to that of the normal rotation of the hands of a clock

At the risk of admitting that I am the Duke of Doofus, I will tell you that if someone asks me to do something “counterclockwise,” I must stop, close my eyes, see a clock in my mind and reverse my path.

It’s one of those directions you often see on paper or hear given by an instructor which seems to be no problem whatsoever to some folks—and leaves me funny wisdom on words that begin with a Creeling.

I have the same sensation when I’m told to go east or west, north or south. If the sun is obviously in its morning or late afternoon position, I can occasionally pull it off but if it has snuck over my head, I am lost.

It reminds me of the time I was in the hospital, had just returned to my room after an operation and needed to go to the bathroom. I was supposed to keep my weight off my left leg, so I asked the nurse how I would be able to travel to the bathroom without injuring myself.

Her response was, “Can you hop?”

I froze.

I had not hopped since I was a small child and felt pretty certain that I would never be ‘hoppy’ again—or that if I tried, it would be a very “un-hoppy” ending.

Please forgive me for this. If you must have a laugh at my expense, just place it on my account. We will need such a running tab, for there will be more to come.


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Counterattack

Counterattack: (n) an attack made as an offset or reply to another attack.

No one likes a brat. It must stop at ten years of age. Yes, no one who has lived over a decade is truly allowed to be a brat without being called out—or possibly executed.

Yet, in our stiff-necked, less-than-humble spirits, we try to sneak into our adult lives what we shall call bratisms. These are words, phrases, funny wisdom on words that begin with a Caccusations, intimidations and even religious doctrines which allow us to be snotty in the name of some greater good.

It’s how we have come up with the term “taking the high road” when referring to a decision not to counterattack someone who chooses to insult us.

You see, taking the high road is a bratism—because if we choose not to do so, since it was the high road in the first place, we can claim that we just didn’t bring along our hiking boots. In other words, “we did our best, but when that son-of-a-bitch called us sons-of-bitches, well, he needed to be told that he’s a double son-of-a-bitch.”

And back and forth it goes.

The Jews and Palestinians have been fighting for thousands of years. Every once in a while, they have to find a new reason—a bratism. Otherwise they might have to consider why they are fussing in the first place and ponder the possibility of reconciliation.

We must create a bratism about men and women being at odds with each other. Otherwise, we might need to strike a deal concerning our mutual overall compatibility.

We need a bratism so we can call “them folks over there” third world, despots, dictators and evil. Otherwise, we’re going to have to concede that they apparently occupy part of the Earth, and short of a plague sent from the heavens, will be around for a while.

As we enter this season of politics, we once again hear people firing warning shots of attacks to be initiated.

These are followed by volleys and threats of counterattacks—done with just enough grown-up flair to escape being cursed as bratty.


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Countenance

Countenance: (n) appearance, especially the look or expression of the face

She swore she could tell.

She believed with all her heart that she could look at the countenance of another human being and tell you their whole story.

She claimed to see “auras”—colors within the cloud of confidence or deceit that surrounded the face of each person in front of her.

You see, I liked her, so I didn’t argue with her about it.

I also know for a fact that whether there’s a coloration involved or not, each one of us does exude from our countenance much more than we often realize.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Now, I will tell you, my friend who believed she saw colorations was usually much harder on people she didn’t like than people she did. I never discovered that she said any one of her enemies seemed to be ‘in the pink.’

But the light of the body is the eye—our eyes and faces reveal much of what is going on in our brain.

It doesn’t take us long to recognize when someone’s lying if we have the time just to study their expression.

It certainly does not require much effort to perceive when a brother or sister is struggling with depression or burdened with difficulty.

We probably don’t realize how many decisions we make about others based on their countenance—and I’m not talking about whether they are pretty or handsome.

No–it’s whether they have enough illumination from inside to light up their outside.


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Countdown

Countdown: (n) backward counting

At one time—I believe it was September 17th, 1988—it was contended that the world was supposed to end.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Then there was the rumor, based on the Mayan Calendar, that time would cease on 12/12/2012.

Yesterday, while watching TV, I was informed by a young scholar that the Earth has thirteen years left before it turns on us and exterminates all humanity.

No matter how much we try to turn the conversation to possibilities, joy and the general good cheer of common labor, there are just too many people determined to participate in a countdown to destruction.

Religious people think Jesus is going to come back to judge the quick and the dead, establishing his kingdom on Earth.

Environmentalists proclaim that the oceans will rise, and the weather will become so unpredictable that finding a place to dwell in the dwindling landscape will turn us all into barbarians.

Other people have financial countdowns.

But for some reason we seem determined to destroy our home—or at least talk about its doom in great detail.

It’s why a great man once said that the end of the world is known only to God, and Him alone. God doesn’t get drunk and share it with someone else. It really is on the downlow.

Because as nasty as we can be, thinking we have many more years to live, we all could become insanely possessed with our own survival if we literally had a clock ticking toward oblivion.


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Count

Count: (v) to enumerate

“That doesn’t count.”

A statement often made when people are in the process of a count.

What should we count? What really counts?

Well, you can count on me to try to turn this into something meaningful. Or maybe it’s not meaningful at all, just making “meaningless” a little less painful.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

What should be counted?

I think it may be the central question to the serendipity of the human race. Yet I must be honest with you—every symphony must be willing to go through the process of being a cacophony. In other words, if we’re not willing to deal with the messiness of our lives, we will never be able to straighten things up and narrow our focus.

  1. We certainly should not count offenses. No good discussion ever begins with, “This is the third time this week…”
  2. Counting your blessings is considered to be a virtue but I must admit, when people start including the joy of having their rice dish set up perfectly, I become a little cynical.
  3. It’s never a good idea to count the hours. Everything good happens in the seconds leading up to the minute.
  4. Should we count the number of friends we have? Should we count our enemies? Maybe it would be better to count where they overlap.
  5. In a season in which polls seem to be more important than finding purpose, certain counts become ridiculous.

“Do you believe in God?” asks the pollster. 86% said they do, but when pushed for a description, many decided to plead the Fifth.

What should we count?

  1. I think it’s all right to count the fingers and toes of new-born babies, unless you plan on destroying a nine-digit one.

What else could we count?

  1. I think we could count the number of times we allow ourselves to give a damn about something other than counting the problems, the iniquities, the faults, the sins and the disagreements of others.


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Counseling

Counseling: (n) professional guidance in resolving personal conflicts and emotional problems.

I certainly understand why people are leery of counsel. I completely comprehend why entering a counseling session could be terrifying.

Because as horrific as it may be to consider following an errant path, having one chosen for you and then failing would certainly place a root of bitterness deep in your soul, which could be very difficult to extract.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Stated bluntly, if I’m going to end up screwed, I’d like to be the driver.

For true counseling has nothing to do with guidance or instruction. Any person who desires to give counsel to another human being must understand that since God has no intention of removing free will from any son or daughter of Adam and Eve, it is therefore not the job of the inspirer to rob someone of his or her own fragile, but necessary, power of decision.

What is good counseling?

  1. Clarify all the crap, trash, fears, insecurities and prejudices and help individuals discover what really surrounds them.

Most people don’t die in battle. They pass away from suffocation, because that which could have aided them crushes them. A good counselor literally clears the air and allows a friend to see exactly what of the dilemma is real and what is trying to haunt the darkness.

  1. Long before answers arrive, questions must be taught politeness. They need to be arranged by importance and dealt with respectively within that lineup. The counselor helps someone to find the right questions and then place them in a pecking order.

After these two things are achieved, the counselor listens, only steering when a cliff is in sight.

If you want to call that “professional guidance,” then you would be correct.

But what I believe it to be is a calm reshuffling of availability.


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Council of War

Council of war: (n) any conference for discussing or deciding upon a course of action.

I don’t think we’ve ever come up with an adequate term to identify the tribes that inhabited the North American continent before the arrival of the European immigrants (of whom many were rapists, and I’m sure some of them were good…)funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Because of this, we have a huge chunk of history which is really nothing more than mystery. I hope you will agree with me that when history remains mystery, we are destined to fall under the spell of its mastery.

Why?

Because we don’t know any more than when we started, even though we have lots of information that’s available, our interest level is stunted.

So we call these tribes “Native Americans,” “Indians,” and of course, in the early days, just savages. It was easier to kill them off in large numbers when you considered them to be rogue beasts.

But from my limited well of understanding, I will tell you that these human beings who were here long before us, would hold their council of war while smoking a peace pipe. Yes—they would pass around some sort of early bong filled with God-knows-what, puff on it and chat before they decided to grab their clubs, tomahawks, or even guns, and traipse off, murdering.

I don’t know how many wars they may have avoided by becoming a bit more rosy in their thinking during one of these interludes of puffing.

But I wonder whether their white—and even tan, yellow and black—brothers and sisters might be better off holding their councils of war in a haze of cigar smoke, or even the whiff of magical plants, before making such a drastic decision—to throw down in conflict with other people, and purposely deplete the population in order to prove that your domain of the Earth is mightier?


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Council

Council: (n) a body of persons specially designated to act in an advisory or legislative capacity

Sarah was voted to be a member of the council. She felt honored, even though it was a rather quick process. She was nominated, seconded and voted in before she had much of a chance to either object or assent.

On the way home from the meeting, she asked herself, “I wonder why they wanted me on the council?”funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Sarah had to admit that she was sometimes guilty of over-thinking, but found that to be more virtuous than underthinking, or worse, being thoughtless.

Sarah decided there were only three possibilities why she was selected to be on the council:

  1. No one else really wanted to do it and they thought she might agree to be the pigeon.
  2. She would go to the council meetings, not make waves, not embarrass anybody from the hometown and just vote with the blowing of the wind.
  3. Or they might have thought that Sarah was an aggressive go-getter who would represent their causes and sentiments well, and argue, if necessary, to see change.

As Sarah drove home, she giggled. She realized that’s why very little gets done in business, religion or politics. The people who are voted onto councils, gathered for a congress or placed in the boardroom either were not quick enough to escape, so timid that it was assumed they wouldn’t mess with anything, or hot-heads that the community at large wanted to chase away—so they sent them in a new direction.


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Coulter

Coulter: (n) a surname

I have made it a practice to never insert someone’s real name into one of my essays or articles. Whatever that person and I chose to do in our adult moments of living shouldn’t be regaled for all the world to read. At least I owe them that.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

But I could not help myself when I rolled across the name Coulter, and realized that a very dear friend by that name once strolled into my life and took me from a status of nearly homeless to a position in which my music and art was given the chance to be considered as viable.

Coulter was my friend. He was part of a music group I joined, and in no time at all they had me singing his vocal parts. Rather than being angry or jealous, Coulter was appreciative and supportive.

He tried many things. Coulter’s problem was that he was good at everything he attempted.

For instance, he started working at a doughnut shop and within two months, they made him manager. (I benefited from that experience, because my wife and I were without an actual place to sleep at night, nor regular food.) Coulter always provided a big box of day-old doughnuts, which he set outside the back door of the establishment with his blessing)

He always believed that underneath my neediness—and sometimes grubbiness—there was someone worthy to be heard. Eventually, because of his love of the entertainment business, he started his own agency to book acts. Completely in line with his employment history, in no time at all he had a stable of artists and was scheduling them into everything from conventions to churches to county fairs.

He helped our fledgling group along, throwing us work every now and then, and when I wrote my first musical theater piece, he became so excited that he found ten investors, who gave a thousand dollars each to fund the effort.

He not only helped me put together the cast for the production, but also got on the phone and scheduled dates in twenty-five cities around the country, so we could go and perform it.

He was so enthralled with the music from the play that he wanted to promote to large publishing concerns. All he needed from me were lead sheets and chord charts. Unfortunately, my technical knowledge of music was limited, and I ended up handing him materials which were pitiful and comical at the same time.

But he never held it against me. He never became enraged or upset about anything.

Even when we were in the midst of promoting our musical play, and a minister who believed he possessed both the knowledge of God’s will and the right to judge others who didn’t understand, attacked Coulter because he heard rumors that my friend was a homosexual (that’s back when they were homosexuals instead of gay) Coulter refused to retaliate.

Even though I was a stupid kid with a gnat’s worth of sense, I defended him and stood up against the Pharisee. It’s one of the better things I ever did in my life.

I don’t know where Coulter is today—or even if he is today.

But wherever he may be, I want him to know that his good buddy turned out okay—due in large part to a friend who arrived in the early days with a box of doughnut—just at the right time.


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