Tag Archives: death

Balsamic Vinegar

Balsamic vinegar: (n) dark, sweet Italian vinegar that has been matured in wooden barrels.Dictionary B

I guess it was around age 35 when I stopped trying to be enticed and instead, allowed myself to be convinced.

Up to that point, everything needed to have a sensuality, an obvious value or a pleasure related to it in order to grab my interest.

To put it bluntly, a stick had to come along a poke my lust–whether a lust for food, romance, power or even work–to get me revved up and ready to go.

Yes, I needed to be enticed.

So in that time–those “salad days”–when I ordered a salad, I always got a mix of Thousand Island and Blue Cheese dressing. Why?

  • Because I loved the taste.
  • I loved the rich, thick texture.
  • And I think, secretly, I was enthralled by the number of calories.

But then when I reached 35, I started thinking about my mortality. Death is highly unlikely when you’re a kid. But death lurks in your late thirties, and even though it’s not prominent, it is still evident.

It was at that point that I realized my choice of salad dressings was contrary to my good health. So I investigated other choices.

The one suggested to me more often than any other was balsamic vinegar. “Low in calories, good for your tummy and a promoter of excellent digestion.”

When I tasted it, I wanted to run out of the room. It was not creamy. It was not delicious. It was intrusive. Yes, that’s the word.

But since I was trying to move out of a climate of enticement, I allowed myself to be convinced that this dressing was to my betterment.

To this day, when I go to a restaurant and they don’t have lower calorie options, I will order it–not because it’s enticing, but because I finally am convinced.

 

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

*******************

NEW BOOK RELEASE BY JONATHAN RICHARD CRING

WITHIN

A meeting place for folks who know they’re human

 $3.99 plus $2.00 S&H

$3.99 plus $2.00 Shipping & Handling

$3.99 plus $2.00 Shipping & Handling

Buy Now Button

 

Asthma

Asthma: (n) a respiratory condition marked by spasms in the bronchi of the lungs, causing difficulty in breathing.dictionary with letter A

ne of the sure signs of dying is difficulty in breathing, which is followed by the surest sign of dying, which is not breathing.

So I can’t imagine a more terrifying condition than asthma, which simulates your death for you over and over again, just in case you forgot what it might be like.

I’ve only had shortness of breath once or twice in my life, and I can tell you, it was mortifying.

Death would not be so bad if you didn’t have to stop breathing. The body just downright objects to that.

I have been underwater for a few more seconds than my lungs appreciated, trying to surface, praying prayers in every single language I knew, including a few I made up, desperately paddling my way to get to oxygen again.

I think because movies have treated asthma as a condition which is handled with an inhaler or some sort of medication, we don’t really pick up how horrifying it must be to be unable to get air into your lungs.

So all of my concern and prayers go out to those who experience this condition, and have been victimized by it–and also a quick prayer for a cure.

I like to breathe.

When I was a kid I didn’t even enjoy going under water and holding my breath to compete with others, to see who could last the longest. I’ve never participated in a contest while going through a tunnel to see who could hold their breath through the whole experience.

I’m pretty well addicted to about 45 inhales and exhales every minute.

 

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

Artery

Artery: (n) any of the muscular-walled tubes forming part of the circulation system by which blood (mainly that which has been oxygenated) is conveyed from thedictionary with letter A heart to all parts of the body.

The doctor frowned at me, peering over her glasses at a chart, unseen to my perception. She said, “You have the arteries of a seventy-five-year-old man.”

I replied, “I am so sorry. I will return them as soon as I acquire some of my own.”

She did not laugh.

Doctors are not allowed to laugh, especially when they’re staring at charts with nasty scrawlings.

Most of my adult life, my understanding of the artery was to assume that it has been clogged. Being raised on an American diet which certainly has a similar effect to a long-haired woman taking numerous showers in your bathtub, clogging is nearly inevitable.

So when I heard this, even though I joked with my doctor, I was a bit alarmed.

One of the things I have strongly opposed for many years is my own death. Matter of fact, I am downright adamant aginst it. (I have deep feelings about your demise as well, but not nearly as convicted as I am about mine.)

I also don’t like the idea of having a heart attack. It sounds quite terrifying, and since that muscle is necessary for breathing, I am not anxious to find out what it feels like to be breathless.

Fortunately for my well-being, I have always been fond of fruits and vegetables–what we call “good food.” I intersperse “bad food” into the mix to keep myself well-rounded. Literally.

But it is not a stretch for me to abandon these nefarious companions in favor of more puritanical friendships with food.

So although I received this diagnosis about my arteries many years ago, I am still here. And I am eating, working, dieting and to some extent, exercising, with the aspiration of remaining upright for some time to come.

In the process, I think I actually may have been able to return those arteries to that unknown gentleman in his seventies.

It makes you wonder: when I’m seventy-five, will they threaten me by saying I have the arteries of a hundred-year-old?

 

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

Appraise

dictionary with letter A

Ap·praise:(v)assess the value or quality of.

I was nineteen years old and I had a great idea–at least, I thought it was a great idea.

My mother and father ran a loan company in our little town and in the basement of the structure, there were slabs of marble used for flooring and trimming. Apparently they were left over from when the building was constructed and placed down there because no one knew what to do with them.

The marble was beautiful, but terribly heavy.

My wife and I decided to bring up five huge pieces–because we knew they had to be worth a lot of money. As a matter of fact, we confirmed this by calling a local store which dealt in such commodities and asking what these units were worth.

Our minds were boggled by how expensive marble was, so we figured we would bring up five slabs, and probably take care of our budget for the next six months. Who knows? Maybe a year.

We didn’t think of getting them appraised before making the arduous journey of carrying them upstairs. So much to our chagrin, even though the marble pieces were very expensive at one time, somebody had determined that this particular design was outdated.

We even carried one of them across town to an actual dealer, who agreed that it was quite lovely, but that he had no use for it. When I complained, stating that the marble was just as valuable as it once was, he replied, “It’s not what the marble’s worth. It’s what people will pay for it.”

I never forgot that.

Without becoming too philosophical, let me say that we live in an age when we appraise human value, human life and even human interaction as priceless.

Yet when it comes right down to it, what are we really willing to pay to see other people secure, content, safe and happy?

It’s all too cheap.

And I would like to be part of a movement that reappraises human beings from conception to death with a more realistic price tag, which could actually be followed up with legitimate concern.

 Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

Antemortem

dictionary with letter A

Antemortem: (adj & adv) before death

Sometimes words can be head-scratchers.

Isn’t antemortem just another way of saying “life?”

In other words, if we’re talking about everything before death, doesn’t that just refer to today’s activities and our ongoing existence?

But after I get done scratching my head, freeing up a few dandruff flakes, I discover a much deeper concept. (Not so deep that it makes one drown, but perhaps deep enough that it promotes moving forward swimmingly.)

For I will tell you right now, almost every facet of our society has us thinking just as much about our death as it does our life.

I was trying to remember the last movie I went to that didn’t have at least one, if not many, people killed. I guess the message is, we’re all mortal, so eat, drink and be merry.

Politics focuses on retirement, social security and often even flagrantly discusses death benefits.

You add in the medical field, constantly reminding us of all the things that can terminate our journey, and religion telling us we need to get ready for heaven, and it certainly seems that we spend an incredible amount of time wasting our present life force in preparation for our inevitable death.

Since we are granted less than a century of breathing, to study too much of the past or fear too much of the future seems a bit ridiculous and obsessive.

Yet if you have a “live for today” philosophy, people shake their heads in disapproval and mouth words like “irresponsible, hippie, Bohemian and gypsy.”

What is the balance?

I don’t know.

But I do know this–I’m not going to spend the majority of my life, while I’m still young, vibrant, mentally active, socially aware and sexually viable, laying up treasure for a time when I’m not.

I am sure, at any juncture in my life span, no matter how old I may become, I will not be thrilled to leave.

So with that in mind, I find it much more intuitive to pursue the activities of this day with jubilance and a bit of “devil-may-care,” so as to guarantee that when the post-mortem arrives … that my antemortem has sufficiently kicked ass.

 

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

Aneurysm

dictionary with letter A

Aneurysm: (n.) an excessive localized enlargement of an artery caused by the weakening of the artery wall.

I sat for a moment, shaking my head in disbelief, unwilling to receive the information that had been imparted to me.

A friend of mine, twenty-five years of age, had suddenly died.

He had a brain aneurysm.

Rushing to the hospital and arriving on the scene, I found myself bouncing from one friend to another in search of meaning–some sort of explanation of how this could possibly have happened to such a youthful, energetic and healthy individual.

Nobody knew.

So I decided to ask the doctor. “How can he be dead? He was so healthy.”

The doctor looked me in the eyes and said, “It was a done deal when he was born.”

He went on to kindly explain that the weakness in my friend’s blood vessel was there at birth and was on a ticking clock of twenty-five years. And when the bell rang, his school was out.

I had so many questions. Were there any signs? How about symptoms?

But the doctor gently nudged me into the path of reason.

“We’re all going to die, and we really can’t change the date forward too much. If we don’t take care of ourselves we can hasten it. But sometimes, there’s one little blood vessel that doesn’t understand the value of jogging and eating broccoli, and just gives up too soon.”

How fearfully and wonderfully we are made, said the Psalmist.

Often we linger over the wonderful nature of the human mechanism.

But let us not ever forget how frighteningly fragile it can be also. 

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

Agonize

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Agonize: (v) to undergo great mental anguish through worrying about something.

Really?

I’m sorry. I always try to empathize with my fellow-men and women, but sometimes the causes and circumstances that promote frustration and agonizing concern just escape me.

Early on in my life I came up with a simple principle:

There is only one day which is totally beyond my control: the day I die. And all the imitators of that experience can be dodged, as if they were bullets.

There you go.

It reminds me of the words of Jesus when he told his friends, the disciples, that their buddy, Lazarus, was sick but that he wasn’t going to die.

The truth is, he did die.

But traveling to see him, to prepare for a resurrection, it would have been of little use to weep, fuss and agonize over his temporary termination. So Jesus told them it was “all cool.”

Now, I’m not talking about an optimistic attitude, which is often devoid of needed reality and focus. (In other words, people who always “look on the bright side of life” can be quickly dimmed by a single rain cloud.) But it is a needed perspective.

There are three forces that will work for us if we are aware of our own surroundings:

1. Mother Nature. She just has a way of doing things, and if you learn her ways, you’ve got the first four digits of the “pick six” in the lottery.

2. Fellow humans. Contrary to most of the television programs, the vast majority of humanity does not consist of pimps, thieves and serial killers. People actually do help more often than not.

3. God. God has no reason to do anything but support his children. The only thing we have to remember is, this grace is bestowed to the humble.

Agonize if you want–but I will save that single moment of uncontrollable worry for my own death, and fight it off … until it’s absolutely mandatory.

Aghast

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter AAghast: (adj.) filled with horror or shock: e.g. when the news came out they were aghast

I was trying to figure out what horrifies me.

Like most human beings, I think I’m horrified by violence, destruction, death and mayhem. That’s good. (I mean, it’s bad. But it’s good that I think it’s bad.)

But there are other things that horrify me. I’m talking about that shock that startles your heart and makes your bowels tingle.

  • As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become horrified by the notion of performing activities I am not presently suited for in any way, shape or form.
  • I’m a little bit horrified when I watch television and realize that we have sunk to an era of fantasy, presumption, silliness and self-involvement.
  • I’m horrified by killing. I think I already said that.
  • I’m horrified by pornography. I think what horrifies me about that subject is the notion that women, who consist of half of the population on the planet, can so easily be trivialized and brutalized through a medium which is gaining more acceptance every day.
  • I’m aghast at prejudice–so much so that I’m willing to root it out in myself.
  • I’m aghast when I get around people who are overly confident in their abilities because it shows that improvement is so far from their minds.
  • I don’t think I’ve ever been horrified by a horror movie. That’s rather bizarre.
  • Yet I am truly horrified by death–my own in particular. I know as a person of faith, I should welcome the experience, or at least not be terrified of the journey, but that isn’t really my sensation. I enjoy life and I’m just not relishing the idea of seeing it end, especially since I am fully cognizant that things will be able to continue without me.

I guess what leaves me aghast is the notion of how easy it would be for us to be kinder to one another, yet we make the more difficult choice to conjure evil.

The thing I know above all else is that human beings don’t need any help from the dark regions of hell in order to come up with a way to destroy one another. Yes, I guess that makes me aghast.

For the truly horrifying part of life is realizing how easy it would be to create peace … as we blithely purchase more weapons for war.

Actuary

Words from Dic(tionary)

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

 

Actuary: (n.) a person who compiles and analyzes statistics and uses them to calculate insurance risks and  premiums.

It looked like it was gonna be fun.

It was put out by one of those famous insurance companies as a kind of test balloon to help people understand their situation with life insurance, and also their own personal well-being and health. It was a quiz with twenty-five questions which you were supposed to answer truthfully, and after you submitted your answers, they would send you, within a very short time via email, the proposed date of your death, based on the information you provided.

It was probably quite ridiculous, but still seemed like a good way to kill an hour while I was waiting for the next piece of excitement to leap into my life. So I started answering the questions, being painfully honest, and within about fifteen minutes, I completed the quiz.

I followed the instructions carefully, submitted my conclusions, and about thirty minutes later, I received an automated-response email from the website, with my day and year of death.

Now, when I finished the test, I wasn’t sure what to expect. But what came back to me was a real surprise. Dare I say—a shocker?Because according to the results of my quiz and the actuary tables of this particular insurance company, I had been dead already for two years, three months and four days.

Thinking there had been some sort of error made in the transfer of material, I persisted by filling out the quiz one more time—with a little less candor. But this time I was nervous and hovered around my computer, waiting for the ding to ring my ongoing faith in some sort of longevity.

True to form, half an hour later, there was my response.

I had acquired five extra months through my lying.

This was several years ago. So I don’t put much faith in actuary tables or predictions on human lifespan. I guess it works this way: you keep taking deep breaths and moving forward until you’re not able to breathe anymore. At that point you will get the actual day and time of your death.

So in closing, I would not recommend that you take one of these tests unless you want to insert the data of an Olympic athlete.

For me, I will just wait and see if my eyes open in the morning, smile if they do—and realize that I cheated the computer out of one more day.