Tag Archives: embarrassed

Comprise

Comprise: (v) to consist of; be made up of

Dear me,

I have wanted to contact “me” for some time to discuss us.

Sometimes I’m embarrassed to put too much focus on our struggles or our goals, but it has come to my attention that both me and I need to sit down (or stand up, for that matter) and decide what the hell we’re doing.

I like our conversations, because I don’t have to be too gentle with me. After all, we share a space. I am the thinker and me is more or less the doer.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

I just feel it’s time to stop doing so much and pause for a thought. For I will tell me this–life is racing quickly by, and soon, or definitely later, it will be over. At that point, all that I have thought and all that me has done will come to a completion, and will be up for review.

What do we want this journey to be comprised of, and determine who we are?

I had some thoughts. I think the good news is that these are ideas that I really believe me can implement with ease.

I do not feel we are going to be able to represent ourselves well unless we show up every day with good cheer. It just seems to I that any other profile is too negative or too suspicious.

I think it’s a good idea for us to be a little vulnerable, making it clear to the world around us that we don’t have all the answers, but find ourselves in a “willing to learn” position.

May I also suggest, as we comprise our future, that we show up with talent instead of excuses, and a work ethic rather than procrastination?

And we should have just enough optimism to prevent us from being the classic naysayer.

And finally, I suggest that we question everything we learned as children, and be very prepared to put away childish things.

I would like to thank me for listening. I know me is always very busy and sometimes forget that I is here.

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Clean

Clean: (adj) uncontaminated and pure; innocent.

I didn’t take my first shower until I was in junior high school.

Our house had a bathtub. I remember, as a boy, sitting in that tub until my skin started to prune up. This told me two things: first, I had been in the water too long. But secondly, there was a chance I was clean.

But the first time I stepped into that shower after junior high school football practice, I realized I had never gotten the back of my neck clean sitting in that tub.

Matter of fact, a friend standing nearby, who should have been minding his own business, saw that there were little streams of dirt flowing down my backside.

He thought this was hilarious.

Being one who liked to share his joy, he pointed it out to all the nearby fellows showering. I was embarrassed.

I tried to explain that I was a bather, not a “shower-er,” but that sounded even worse.

I scrubbed the back of my neck the very best I could, went out, changed clothes and left as quickly as possible.

I grew up a lot that one afternoon, because I realized that just because we think we’re clean doesn’t mean that every place on us–or in us–has been cleansed.

Sometimes it takes a shower hitting us at just the right place to expose hidden dirt.

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Broom

j-r-practix-with-border-2

Broom: (n) a long-handled brush of bristles or twigs used for sweeping.

I know what a broom is.

I have seen one.Dictionary B

I could even identify one at a distance.

If sent into a large room to find it, I would be successful in no time at all.

Yet I really don’t know anything about a broom.

I’ve had one thrust in my direction with belligerent orders to “help clean up.” But I’ve always been a little bit of a loss as to what the correct process is in “brooming.”

I’ve seen people take short, brusque strokes–like they were angry at the floor or infuriated with the dirt.

Then I’ve seen people take long, easy passing with the broom, sweeping up the dirt gently in front of them.

There are brooms that work sideways.

There are brooms that work up and down.

(I guess that’s it.)

But I am a little embarrassed to admit that my “broomsmanship” has been lacking, partially because I’m lazy, but mostly because when I tried to use one, a nearby competitor (normally a female) would snatch it from my hands because I was failing to be reverent.

She’d demonstrate and then hand it back to me, and rapscallion that I am, I would realize that if I could simulate an additional failure, in no time at all she would insist I was incompetent and do the job herself.

It always worked.

I’m embarrassed to share it with you.

But I must be honest–I have no great stories about “brooming”–only being able to tell you that I can identify one.

 

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Bicycle

Bicycle: (n) a vehicle composed of two wheels held in a frame one behind the other, propelled by pedals and steered with handlebars

Dictionary B

The old 37 hill.

That’s what I called it.

It wasn’t actually much of a rise, but for my chubby legs, trying to pedal up that incline on my bicycle was nearly impossible. Matter of fact, usually halfway up, I pulled over, got off and walked my bicycle the rest of the way up.

I always felt like a failure (well, as much as you can feel like a failure when you’re twelve).

It seemed like the whole town was watching me to see if I was going to give up on the old 37 one more time.

In never getting up, I never let them down.

One day, I decided I was going to pedal the whole hill no matter what happened. Hell to pay (though I didn’t know what that phrase meant).

I was doing so well.

I was nearly at the top when I stood up and pushed down for one final burst…and my bicycle pedal broke off, causing me to splatter all over the road in complete indignity.

I was so embarrassed.

Especially when I went down to the small-town hardware store to replace my pedal and the owner refused to put one on. He said I was too fat and I would just break it again.

I had to promise him that I would never stand up and push hard on the pedal before he would let me buy the replacement.

Because of that I never conquered the old 37 hill.

But when I got my driver’s license, I took my 1963 Impala and drove up and down repeatedly…snickering.

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Bereave

Bereave: (v) to be deprived of a loved oneDictionary B　

I’m a silly goose (even though I’m not quite sure why that bird got crippled with such a characterization).

I’m a little embarrassed to admit it, but often I will be sitting alone and suddenly be overwhelmed with the remorse that will be felt by those around me at my passing.

I don’t know why I feel the right to project on them such a breakdown–but tears come to my eyes as I imagine them weeping over my demise.

Honestly, I cannot say that I get nearly as worked up about considering the death of another.

No, it is the absence of me on the planet that bereaves me.

I can’t imagine an Earth without my charming personality.

I’m reluctant to write this article, but having a certain anonymity due to the expansiveness of the Internet and my own obscurity … I assume I am fairly safe in maintaining this secret devotion to my own mortality.

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Altar

dictionary with letter A

J. R. Practix

J. R. Practix

Altar: (n) the table in a Christian church at which the bread and wine are consecrated in communion services.

Sometimes I am embarrassed at my lack of interest in religion.

I am extremely intrigued with faith, personal consecration, devotion and the quest for better things.

It’s kind of the way I felt when I was a kid and my friends would become involved in new, popular activities. My only interest in the venture was whether or not it was fun. But my friends would get picky about the pieces of a puzzle or the trinkets that went inside a game board.

One of my companions became totally obsessed with marbles–to the point that he had buckskin pouches to carry them in, and they couldn’t be mingled with each other because the purees had to be separated from the bulgers, which had to be totally kept apart from the cats’ eyes. So every time I played with this kid, he was yelling at me about procedures and propriety. instead of just shooting marbles.

Yep, I guess that sums up my spirituality.

I’m just shooting marbles.

When you want me to cherish the sanctity of an altar, or discuss speculate on whether bread looks like the human body and whether wine is a symbol of blood or is actually transposed in substance…well, I’m outta here.

I’m against altars–mainly because they don’t alter anyone.

They make us feel superior because we think more than other people, rather than weighing our worth by what we feel and do.

So go ahead and worship at your altar, and know all the significance of each and every holy piece placed upon it.

But for me, I believe if you’re going to enjoy yourself, you need to learn the importance of relaxing and appreciating more than worshipping and revering.

Agile

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter AAgile: (adj.) able to move quickly and easily

One of my largest portions of pride has always been a belief, contention and even, I suppose, reality that I “move really well for a big man.”

Whenever I ran across folks who questioned my size or my blubber, I always reminded them that I swam four times a week and even played tennis.

I was glad to be agile.

Actually, I worked hard at it. I have always been very fat, but also active. Honestly, my busy lifestyle and exercise didn’t do much to counteract my metabolism and overeating.

Time marches on. The obesity has remained and unfortunately, the agility has gradually vanished.

I have worn my knees out carrying around too much weight.

They were very brave for many years and now they are suing me for irreconcilable differences and requesting custody of my movement.

How do I feel about it? Because please understand–what we feel about things is very important. You may be able to achieve mind over matter but you will never achieve mind over emotions. When the brain and the feelings have a war, the mind is never able to overcome the onslaught of the attack brought on by the invasion of mercenary misgivings.

This is why I must deal with my feelings with regard to my agility. Four different sensations:

Embarrassed because I have gotten myself into this situation, where I am no longer agile.

Surprised that I am still around, doing a little kicking and screaming, considering how I have mistreated my joints and muscles.

Determined to do my best to generate greater possibilities.

And hopeful that with a combination of God’s grace and my effort, I can gain back some agility points.

The key lies in what order I allow these emotions to surface every day in my life. If they land in this order: (1) embarrassed, (2) surprised, (3) determined and (4) hopeful, it’s going to be a lousy day. But if I am able to get (1) surprised, (2) determined, (3) hopeful and (4)embarrassed in that order, I normally can see progress.

Yes, to be agile in my body demands that I first be agile in my emotions.

I’m on it.

Admiral

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter AAdmiral (n): a commander of a fleet or naval squadron or a naval officer of very high rank.

I’m a little bit embarrassed to admit that when the word “admiral” comes to my mind, I think of Halsey–and only because Paul McCartney wrote a song mentioning him. You know–where they sing that real high part–Hands Across the Water.

Isn’t that weird?

I don’t even know exactly what Paul says about Admiral Halsey. It’s in a thick British accent and is about some sort of pie, maybe.

I have watched enough movies to know that an admiral is a guy who sits in his own boat about three hundred miles away from the battle and radios messages to his fleet, which is getting blown out of the water by shells, telling them stupid things like, “Don’t give up the ship.”

You know what the problem is with leadership? The word itself has a confusing blending. First of all, we’re assuming that someone should BE a leader–and then, that they should be in charge of the ship. I guess that’s what an admiral is–he is an actual leaderSHIP.

So how do you know if someone’s a good admiral, using excellent leaderSHIP?

1. The boat should be afloat. I think it’s a telltale sign of bad “admiraling” when you’re taking in water.

2. Everyone on deck should know what their job is and not be confused if the question is posed.

3. All those who work on the ship should have a nice balance between love of the admiral and terrified of him if they fail to do their duty.

4. A good admiral should be able to get you to your destination quickly if so needed.

An admiral–a leaderSHIP.

Without such an efficient being at the helm?  Well  … we’re all sunk.

Adagio

Words from Dic(tionary)

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Adagio: 1. (adj) a very slow tempo in music 2. (n) the name of the slow movement in a musical composition: e.g. Barber’s Adagio for Strings

I realize that I have reached the adagio of my life. My body has asked me to slow down the tempo.

I am not quite as capable of pizzicato anymore. Jumping up and down and leaping about seems to be something more worthy of discussion than application.

I also don’t Allegro. There’s no need to go fast when the destination does not seem to be moving away and the arrival time is not necessarily dictated.

I think some people become very upset when adagio settles into their years–so much so that they often take a cue from the musical community and place this passage in a minor key. Rather than keeping a lovely melody of major beauty, a darkness settles in, to communicate that “we’ve slowed down and will no longer pizzicato or allegro.”

I think most men wish they could take a Viagra which would affect their whole being, transforming them to when they were eighteen years old and generally energetic (although more often than not, embarrassed over their choices.)

Not me. I would rather be pleased over my well-thought-out conclusions than to jump to them, only to run into a brick wall.

I suppose most people’s favorite part of a musical composition is the fast Allegro, filled with energy, musicians showing off their prowess of fingering.

But there is something wonderful about taking the Adagio, removing the remorse, cutting out the regrets and ushering in an enlightening tunefulness which fills the soul with hope and joy.

That’s what I want to do.

The reason for living longer than you really should–because honestly, if you do it right, you pretty well have hit the high points by the age of thirty-five–anyway, back to my point: the purpose for continuing past that juncture is to discover, relate, create and expand upon the human condition with your wisdom, your simplicity and your calm spirit.

If you’re running around in your fifties, sixties or seventies trying to prove that you’re still young, attempting to convince everybody that your Allegro movement is prolonged, you will miss the true satisfaction of sharing your Adagio and warming the hearts of your audience.

 

Aargh

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter Aaargh: exclamation used as an expression of anguish, horror, rage or other strong emotion, often with humorous intent. late 18th C: imitative, lengthened form of AH, to express a prolonged cry.

I do love a spontaneous expression of surprised emotion.

I remember once watching my Grandma, as she inadvertently dropped the yolk of an egg into her cake batter in the midst of separating the white. An unexpected expression of her true feeling slipped past her lips, surprising her greatly–especially when she saw me looking up at her. She was so embarrassed.

I was a kid. I thought it was cool.

I don’t really know what constitutes the definition of “bad language.” But I do know that there are some words–which for some reason tend to have four letters–that you aren’t supposed to take out in public.

But how about those words we use as substitutes? Do they really work?

I, myself,  really hate the word “darn.”  And then there’s “shoot”. I never heard anyone use it but Charlie Brown. Forgive me if I prefer to cuss with more ferocity than Charlie Brown. I once knew a minister who used the phrase Jimminy Cricket. Gee whiz…

Sometime human beings just do human things and don’t need other human beings to criticize them for it. After all, don’t we just sometimes need God to … damn something? And sometimes the crap in the world around insists that it be called by its Bible name. And doesn’t the use of the “f” word sometimes resemble a “play-by-play?”

It’s confusing.

Aargh.

I’m sorry. It just doesn’t do it for me…