Tag Archives: fear

But

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But (conj.) used to indicate the impossibility of anything other than what is being stated.

I have never come out of a business meeting, a church council, or a corporate pow-wow with a solution. It’s always been a compromise.

Over the years, I have been taught that such compromising is necessary to generate progress. A little of this, a little of that and a little of the other.

We haggle.

We develop scenarios where our possibility is viewed through the lens of negativity. We are so damn proud of our maturity which enables us to troubleshoot situations until we shoot all the goodness, and are left with nothing but trouble.

The word “but” has become the battle cry of the lazy.

There is a simple question each one of us has to ask our own heart: would you rather sit around and discuss something until you’re thoroughly convinced there is no doorway, or would you rather go out and try something and learn as you go?

We are very careful.

But we fly on the wings of those who abandoned caution and experimented instead of merely considering. Our faith is supposed to be pursuing things we have not seen, but dies because our hope is hampered by doubt.

Even our love is insipid, because we are afraid of deep affection.

I love to write. No buts.

I love people. No buts.

I’m looking for a better way to be who I am.

No buts about it.

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Burn

j-r-practix-with-border-2

Burn: (v) to flame while consuming

Snakes and fire.

I believe these two are natural enemies of all humankind.

I’ve always been afraid of snakes, without shame. But I realized my apprehension about fire when I found myself staying at a cheap motel called “The California.”(Yes, welcome to the Motel California…)

I was there with my family and we were occupying a room in the front corner near the office. One afternoon, we were half asleep, watching television, when there was a knock at the door. The manager was informing everyone that there was a fire.

I stepped outside, couldn’t see anything, but decided it was a good idea to get my family and some of our belongings out of the room, load them into the van and move the vehicle away from the property, just in case.

We gathered with the other patrons of the motel in the parking lot, when all at once the second floor, as if on cue, burst into flames. It was so sudden that everyone gasped. In unison, we moved back about twenty paces.

The heat was intense, the smell stung our nostrils. and our natural fear kept pushing us all further and further from the inferno.

It wasn’t a large motel, so by the time the fire trucks arrived, the entire establishment was engulfed in flames–except for the lower level near the office.

The firemen told us it would be many hours before we would be able to get back in to retrieve any belongings that might remain, so we went out to visit some friends and took advantage of a free motel room offered by a kind establishment down the road.

Over breakfast the next morning, I couldn’t keep my hands from shaking. I didn’t know what was wrong. But now I realize that I was completely terrified by the experience, and horrified by what might have happened.

An hour or two later, when we returned to the burned-out shell of the motel, we found that our room was intact, and that our belongings were a little damp, but able to be retrieved.

I don’t ever want to burn.

I guess the worst scenario for me would be to die in a fire while being bitten by snakes.

 

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Bountiful

Bountiful: (adj) large in quantity; abundant.

What do we have the most of?Dictionary B

Or is it:

Of what do we have the most?

You see, right then and there you discover the power of determining what is bountiful.

The first way I asked the question is common speak. The second way is considered to be proper English, but a bit clumsy.

Is proper more important than clarity?

Good question.

What is bountiful in the American culture?

1. Individuality

We are so proud that each one of us is a snow flake that we’re unwilling to melt into a common cause.

2. Opinions

So because we’re convinced of our uniqueness, we feel the tiny creek of understanding that descends from our brains to our tongue is spilled out, pretending it’s an ocean

3. Sense of fear.

When you blend the fear that was placed in you as a child with the fear you developed through disappointments, and add onto that the fear and superstition from too much religion or academia, you end up being too cautious to be productive.

Life is bountiful–but not with blessing.

Rather, life is bountiful with opportunity, which through patience and effort, can turn into majesty.

 

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Bluster

Bluster: (n) loud, aggressive, or indignant talk with little effect.

Dictionary B

I believe the goal is to acquire interest.

Whether you’re trying to sell a new car, preach the gospel, gain the attention of the opposite sex or get someone’s vote, the possibility is impaired if you cannot acquire interest.

How do you get people interested?

Amazingly, after everything is boiled down, you’re left with the remainder of the expressions in human life. You end up with fear and love.

They do not get along with each other. Love chases away fear, and fear, likewise, scares the hell out of love.

Therefore, since we are insecure about the notion of creating devotion through emotion, we often resort to the tactic of frightening those around us into submitting to our will.

We bluster.

We find obscure statistics, isolated incidents and horrific anomalies, and advertise them as if they are the norm.

In the process, the car dealer has to convince you that your vehicle is ready to explode. The preacher talks about the heat and humidity in hell, the dating service on the Internet tries to present you as a loser if you’re spending a Saturday night alone, and of course, every candidate wants to discuss “a planet ablaze,” which he or she alone can save.

Although bluster has become acceptable, it is damnable because it pushes fear to the forefront, terrifying our love.

 

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Bisexual

Bisexual: (n) possessing attributes of both male and female within oneself

Sitting in a coffeehouse when I was only sixteen years old, a long-haired young college student with a cerebral profile and an air of Dictionary Bself-importance asked me, “Are you bisexual?”

Innocently, from my Midwestern naiveté, I replied, “No. I would never pay for a woman.”

Surviving that gentleman’s laughter and growing up in a society where such terms became more prevalently spoken, I now know that “bisexual” refers to a willingness, openness, or even yearning to have sexual relationships with people of both genders.

The opinion on this possibility has changed, even in the gay community.

In the past, those who had a predilection toward sharing romantic interests with the same sex were often annoyed with the concept of bisexuality. And I suppose the case could be made that if you are born heterosexual, or born homosexual, where is the evidence that you could be born bisexual?

But setting aside the nonsense of conflict, let us go back to the purity of the definition: “possessing attributes of both male and female within oneself.”

I personally think that’s a positive.

Even men who insist their masculinity is incapable of being penetrated by any feminine aspect whatsoever will eventually sprout some sort of fear of an “icky-poo” or a threatening spider.

And women, who would appear to be the fairy dust of heaven and the dew on the morning rose, will fart at will, and pull off the most amazing physical feats.

Maybe in the sense of human sexuality there is a great depth of mutuality which we’re all just afraid to consider–because it might make us appear to be too weak or too strong.

I don’t know.

But I will advance the theory that when either men or women are sexually aroused, what has aroused them is not nearly as important as culminating the action.

So what can we learn?

If by bisexual you are referring only to physically desiring carnal pleasure with other people of either gender–well, I will leave that to your imagination.

But if by bisexual you might be inkling to the notion that men and women have more in common than difference, then I would say you have just made a sharp right turn … back to Eden.

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Bay Window

Bay window: (n) a window built to project outward from an outside wall.Dictionary B

I was recovering from wounds that had been self-inflicted by my indecision and fear.

For the previous two years I had lived in uncertainty concerning my value and mission. It did not rob me of all of my joy, but it certainly created a detour of the supply train granting me contentment.

I just couldn’t wrap my head around what purpose would be derived by continuing to tread the same path.

In the midst of this, I made a move.

I rented a duplex in Sacramento, California. It was the first living space I had acquired of my own for some time, and it had a lovely master bedroom with a bay window that looked out over a small forest.

It was on a frosty December afternoon that I sat on my bed with the first fruit of twilight creeping around me, and stared out that beautiful window at the view of the trees, when all of a sudden, a few snowflakes appeared in the air.

It was so beautiful.

The image is still etched in my mind, with the memory of a chill going down my spine–a sensation of contentment and awesome wonder about the beauty of life.

Although I was not surrounded by wealth nor was it the last time I would find myself in dire straits, I can always refer back to that incredible vision through that bay window … which kindly reassured me that I was making progress.

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Bashful

Bashful: (adj) reluctant to draw attention to oneself; shyDictionary B

My Aunt Marjorie was the mistress of left-handed compliments.

Some of my favorites:

“Well, that little boy certainly has a lot of energy.”

Translation: “Can’t you keep your damn brat under control?”

“Your casserole is nice and salty.”

Translation: “I will not eat it for fear of kidney failure.”

“Those black people sure can jump.”

Translation: “Must be because they’re really not people.”

And of course, the one I heard over and over again. She would look me in the eye and say, “Well, you’re sure not bashful.”

Translation? “Sit down, shut up and let somebody else suck up some air in the room.”

Likewise, I have often asked children to tell me their names, had them hide behind their Mama’s skirt, as Mother proclaimed, “Oh, they’re just bashful.”

Shall we get something completely straight? All human beings are terrified–and if they aren’t, they’re probably mentally ill.

The prospect of being placed in the spotlight is not warming, but causes us to break out in a sweat.

And knowing that we’re responsible for our actions is enough to make us permanently inactive.

Bashful is not an emotional choice or a personality type–it’s an unfortunate profile that we occasionally find ourselves stuck behind because we do not feel prepared to function in the present situation.

Even though we insist that some people are introverts, we live in an extroverted world, where the squirrels who are too timid to hunt for nuts go nuts–as they starve to death.

Bashful is not a curse I would place upon anyone–it is the fear which forbids us from finding out exactly how far we can actually go.

 

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Apocalypse

dictionary with letter A

Apocalypse (n.)1. an event involving great destruction. 2. (The Apocalypse) the final destruction of the world, as described in the biblical book of Revelation.

It didn’t take me long in my travels to discover that there are only two things that motivate human beings: fear and love. And the truth is, if you have one, you don’t have the other.

Those who fear are greatly inhibited from loving.

And those who love have comfort, which protects them from fear.

Let me share my own little bubble of naiveté: if the world is actually going to end, don’t tell me. Matter of fact. don’t talk about it.

You can feel free to suggest ways that I can prevent such a cataclysmic occurence. That will be fine. But when you start talking about times, dates, circumstances or blame, please leave me out.

Because I will tell you, in my lifetime I have seen the threat of such annihilation twice:

During my whole growing up years, people were building bomb shelters, preparing for the inevitable tossing back and forth of nuclear weapons.

And then the Cuban Missile Crisis took us to the brink of a global fiasco, flirting with devastation like cheap whores at a bar near closing time.

I didn’t care for it–and not just because we were so close to oblivion. It was also the tension leading up to it and the apprehension that remained following.

I run across many religious people who pray for such an Armageddon so they can go home and be with Jesus. Isn’t it interesting that the Savior who prayed to stay here with us is now plagued with disciples who pray to go?

How bizarre.

  • I don’t want the world to end on my watch.
  • I don’t want to stand before God and have to explain why the whole damn thing blew up while I was idly figuring out the day and the hour.

I plan on going to my demise kicking and screaming, needing to be convinced by any divine being who has prepared a place, that this heavenly offering is actually better than what I had.

 

 

 

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Apathy

dictionary with letter A

Apathy: (n) lack of interest or enthusiasm

When does an itch become a rash?

Likewise, when does a bump on the skin become a dangerous lump?

When does a headache become a migraine?

When does a sore tooth become a toothache?

When does sadness turn into depression?

When does motivation transform into selfishness?

When does opinion become stubbornness?

When does anger turn into rage?

When does concern digress to fear?

When does skirmish blow up into war?

When does faith degrade to religion?

When does government prostitute itself into politics?

When does happiness turn into acceptance?

There is a point in each one of these situations when a very silent intrusion changes the circumstances from one thing to another. The key to life is knowing when the line is crossed, and knowing what to do to rectify the deteriorating situation.

Apathy is when we go to sleep … and are no longer concerned about the dangerous crossing.

 

 

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Anthrax

dictionary with letter A

Anthrax: (n) a notifiable bacterial disease of sheep and cattle, which can be transmitted to humans, causing severe skin ulcerations or a form of pneumonia.

 

People often demand that sensibility requires a certain amount of fear.

Matter of fact, one of the easiest ways to portray yourself as an idiot is to suggest to a roomful of people that they stop all worrying, relax and enjoy the journey.

There are just certain words that evoke terror in the human spirit and cause us to reject all common sense in deference to abstract horror.

Anthrax is one of those.

It’s not really clear to me what happens when you have anthrax, but it is the substance of theatrical tale and myth, which leads us to believe that an outbreak of this disease could wipe out the planet, and more importantly, harm us.

I do not know what is adequate apprehension to make sure that you do not accidentally kill yourself with a condition or calamity that smacks you in the head during your season of unawareness.

But I grow weary of being warned more than enlightened, cursed more than blessed, alerted more than informed and frightened more than loved.

Is there a balance?

Is there a correct amount of information imparted to us which allows us to be knowledgeable without becoming irrational?

Here’s the approach:

1. Explain to me what the danger is.

2. Freshen my mind with ideas of how to avoid the danger.

3. Balance it by letting me know what power I have to prevent, alleviate or eliminate the pending doom.

To me, if you don’t include all three of these in your announcement of Armageddon, you will find yourself failing to really enjoy the days leading up to the end of the world.

(By the way, the most dangerous condition passed on by sheep and cattle is heart disease…)

 

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