Tag Archives: heaven

Assume

Assume: (v) to suppose to be the case, without proofdictionary with letter A

I guess it is demanded of me that I tip my hat or give hommage to the classic joke that the word assume makes an “ass” out of “u” and “me.”

That fulfilled, though certainly not being righteous, I will tell you that “assume” is a word which is normally used by human beings until we get caught.

We expect things of people. We assume.

If they go buy an ice cream cone and we are in the car with them, we assume they will buy one for us. So great is this assumption that if they don’t, we feel the complete right to be offended, even though we never asked them to offer us an equal portion.

Assuming is part of life. There are some good things we assume:

  • We assume someone should say “thank you” when we give them a gift.
  • We assume that holding the door open for another human being should be common practice instead of the chivalry of a knight.
  • We assume that people will be faithful.
  • We even assume that God loves us, and that He is going to take us all to heaven someday.

So where does assumption go awry?

Whenever we assume things that are essential, and should not bet they should not be left to chance, we open the door to a disappointment of our own making, which we will certainly blame on others.

I venture to say that a majority of the misunderstandings between human beings is based on the fact that someone assumed something would happen, and when it did not, the offending party was viewed as an insufferable Cretin.

On the other hand, the party deemed to be the offender feels completely innocent because he or she was unaware of the need to perform any particular task.

There’s an old adage which says “you don’t have because you don’t ask.”

Yet asking can be very frightening.

So I guess the lesson about assuming is that we should work on being less afraid–otherwise, be prepared to go without… because we assume too much without making a formal request.

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Ascension

Ascension: (n) the ascent of Christ into heaven on the fortieth day after the Resurrection.dictionary with letter A

As a young father, I remember planning my first trip to take my two little sons, both under five years of age, to the zoo. Nothing went right.

  • I started out with a flat tire.
  • One of the kids woke up with a runny nose and a weepy eye.
  • I had set aside some money for the zoo trip but could only find half of it.
  • And suddenly, nobody wanted to go to the zoo.,

It was at this point that I decided that we were going to go to the zoo, and we were going to have a good time–or die trying.

I pushed through it.

I bring this up in relation to the fact that I must confess to each and every one of you that I do believe in God. Even though I have many friends who would prefer I didn’t or think it’s a sign of my mental or emotional weakness, I decided a long time ago to go with God, and even though my spiritual tires have flattened at times, my children have gotten sick, my prayers were not answered and I’ve ended up with about half the money I needed, I am still on the path to believing.

Some folks stop along the way. They want to believe in the idea of brotherhood, spirituality or kindness, but want to remove a heavenly Father from the masthead of the family business.

Other individuals believe more deeply about God but draw the line at miracles, Satan, heaven, hell and angels.

Some of them believe in Jesus but they don’t believe he rose from the dead, which would make it completely unnecessary for an ascension to heaven.

But here’s my problem: if I drove to the North Pole and found a factory made out of ice and inside was a red velvet suit with white piping, I might have to reconsider my rejection of Santa Claus.

Likewise, I see too much of God’s love, blessing, presence and concern for me to deny it in favor of surrendering to my doubts.

So I guess I’m in this for the long haul.

I guess I will be just as surprised if heaven is really neat as I will be if there is nothing but the grave.

So I have taught myself, in light of this fact, just to enjoy being surprised.

 

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Apex

dictionary with letter A

Apex: (n.) the top or highest point.

“Getting high.”

It’s too bad that phrase has been sullied by the drug culture, because it is so rich in truth and promise.

Everything in life has an apex, even though we often settle for the valley.

  • The apex of politics is a decision to be responsive to the needs of the people instead of chasing their whims.
  • The apex of the military is to convey a strength which discourages our enemies instead of using new weapons to experiment with their lethal carnage.
  • The apex of friendship is really honesty–having someone in your life who will tell you when your breath is bad.
  • The apex of spirituality is “love your neighbor as yourself” instead of debating “who is my neighbor?”
  • The apex of education is infusing knowledge which is workable to the student who wants to go out and pursue a craft.
  • The apex of sexuality is mutual pleasure.
  • The apex of finance is having enough for your needs, a little for your desire, and the balance to help others.
  • The apex of athleticism is the payoff of being in shape, whether you win the trophy or not.
  • The apex of commerce is to make a decent profit while feeling soul-satisfaction because you’ve delivered a quality product.
  • The apex of parenting is seeing the good parts of yourself in your children and allowing them to rebel against the bad.
  • And the apex of faith is working towards having the will of God done on Earth instead continually speculating on heaven.

I am in favor of getting high–just not chemically induced.

For finding the apex in life may be the true definition of “the high road.”

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Angel food cake

dictionary with letter A

Angel food cake: (n.) a light, pale sponge cake made of flour, egg whites and no fat, typically baked in a ring shape and covered with soft icing.

Even though many people are possessed with the notion of eternal life, streets of gold, heavenly reward, bliss and mansions, I have a simple and short wish list for any afterlife that may or may not exist.

No calories.

That’s it.

When I finally finish this journey, I will have spent my entire life in the pursuit of weight loss, which at times teases me with a semblance of progress, only to later taunt me by having the lost pounds reappear as if I had deposited them into an account instead of squandering them in Vegas.

I am not angry, frustrated or giving up on the idea of trying to be trimmer and slimmer. But after many decades of maintaining a similar weight and actively pursuing different approaches to my eating habits, I gradually realize that if life was a poker game, I am sitting at the table with a pair of eights. (In other words, just enough to keep you thinking you should continue to play, but very little prospect of winning the hand unless you can bluff your opponent.)

This is my problem with angel food cake.

It is a lower calorie choice to devil’s food cake, but not absent caloric intake and so light that you feel you can have a second or third piece, which then brings it to equivalency with the satanic version.

It’s so cruel.

It’s like all diet foods. They are lower in calories, but the body immediately knows that the density and depth of quality is absent, so therefore requires more, making things equally as tubafying.

Angel food cake is delicious, but as you can see from the definition, the baker feels the need to add icing. Most people want a bit of strawberries or whipped cream, and then, because it’s a more prudent choice, additional slices are required, are they not?

I do not know what the secret is to weight loss. Anyone who tells me they do I know to be either a fool or a charlatan.

But I do know this–simply calling something angelic does not mean it came from heaven. 

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Angel

dictionary with letter A

 

Angel: (n.) a spiritual being believed to act as an attendant, agent, or messenger from God, typically represented in human form with wings and a long robe.

Perhaps the accusation could be made that I am a soul who is susceptible to suggestion.

  • For if I watch a television show about weight loss, I become determined to pursue at least twelve hours of frugal eating.
  • Viewing a football game makes me want to toss the old pigskin.
  • And going to church makes me want to believe in a God of love, a Jesus of compassion and angels of mercy.

While others debate the existence of divine creatures, or even become vehement in their attacks or defense, I find this boring. Here’s what I think:

If there are no such things as angels, then we should pretend to be them.

If there is no Jesus who loves children and touches the lepers, why not impersonate him?

And for some reason, if God does not exist–a Father which is in heaven for the human race–then maybe it might be nice, in a small way, to comfort the fatherless.

Religion, to me, is not believing in the supernatural, but instead, taking the natural world around me and trying to do something super with it.

Will I be disappointed if I find out there are no angels? Not really–because I’ve read enough about them that I can steal their profile and try, in my miniscule way, to be angelic to my fellow humans.

Wouldn’t it be interesting if it turns out that the key to life is how well we imitate good things, and that our little performances actually become the only representation of the heavenly tale? Weird, huh?

Anyway, I think angels are cool–proclaiming messages of hope, helping out folks who are hungry, having a good word for those in despair, and arriving at just the right moment to do the right thing.

Since angels are cool and I like to be cool, I will continue to take on the role to the best of my stumbling ability.

Likewise, I will be a big, fat bald Jesus to those I meet.

And if necessary, I will come down from a theological perch of understanding and offer my shoulder to those who are crying … just like any good god should.

 

 

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And

dictionary with letter A

And: (conj.) a word used to connect words, clauses or sentences that are to be taken jointly. Ex: bread and butter

“And” is a spiritual word.

It has to live in a vocabulary with more negative neighbors, like “or” and “but.”

“And” has a heart to include, welcome, expand–grow. “Or” is always doubtful and “but,” a bit prejudiced.

  • Jews and Gentiles can go to heaven.
  • Jews or Gentiles can go to heaven.
  • Jews can go to heaven, but not Gentiles.

You see what I mean?

It’s amazing how words are a lot like people Maybe it’s why the Good Book tells us that “by our words we are justified and by our words we’re condemned.”

“And” is optimistic. “Or” is doubtful. “But” can be negative.

I like to live in a world with “ands.” But unfortunately, I exist in a society permeated with “or” and “but,” rarely even considering … an “if.”

 

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Amputate

dictionary with letter A

Amputate: (v): to cut off a limb, typically by surgical operation.

I have eight toes.

I started out with ten–a full complement. But when I got an infection in the big toe on my left foot and it spread to the next toe and threatened to become equally as evangelistic to all the surrounding little piggies, it became necessary for the doctor to come in and snatch two of ’em.

I was not favorable to this.

Even though the infection was threatening to go into gangrene, I had grown fond of having ten toes and considered it to be beneath me, as an intelligent individual, to trim down to eight.

It was explained to me that I didn’t really need ten toes–a similar conversation that young mothers have with their homely daughters when trying to point out the positive aspects of being plain.

I knew I didn’t need ten toes. (Well, I didn’t know, but I assumed that my feet would still work with eight.)

It’s just that I didn’t want to be weird.

I didn’t want to be that guy who was physically debilitated or weakened, making him seem a bit pitiful instead of powerful.

It’s not that a lot of people see your toes. Matter of fact, there are only certain occasions when such a revealing is even plausible.

But I saw–and my opinion matters to me.

But when it came down to a choice between dying or losing my two toes, I chose to bid farewell and bon voyage to the fellas.

It reminds me of an idea put forth in the Good Book: “If your right hand offends you, cut it off.” For it’s better to make it to heaven without a hand than to show up someplace else with a diseased appendage.

Interesting.

Of course, there are spiritual applications across the board–but I think one of the signs of maturity is knowing when to give up on things that are not working and cut them away before they taint and destroy everything else.

It’s never easy. After all, we grow accustomed to the face of our circumstance.

But as I sit here today–with eight toes–writing to you, I realize that it does not make a lot of difference.

Because even with eight … you can still keep your toes in the water.

 

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Ambrosia

dictionary with letter A

Ambrosia: (n) something very pleasing to taste or smell: e.g. the tea was ambrosia.

It was about 750 square feet from kitchen to front door and located directly across from the State Capitol in Columbus, Ohio.

It was a Chinese restaurant–the first of its kind in our area, and I was quite uncertain whether to go in and eat, because being raised provincially, I had some sensation that it might be un-American.

But it smelled good and I was a teenager–adventurous and rebellious to the notion that I should forbid my taste buds an opportunity, based upon politics.

I didn’t know what to order, so the dear young girl who waited on me suggested sweet and sour pork. I didn’t ask her to explain what it was, because I didn’t want to come across as if this was the first Chinese restaurant I had ever been in–but when it arrived it was beautiful: fried, golden-brown chunks of juicy pork, covered with a red sauce that was sticky like cake, sweet like candy and just a little bit sour, like lemon. On the side was fried rice, which still contained some of the grease left over from the pork tanned over the flames.

I put a bite in my mouth and I was transported to every religious expression of heaven known to the human thinking.

It was delicious: sweet, sour, some salty from the fried rice, juicy fat from the pork.

There is not and never will be any flavor to surpass it.

I have eaten other foods which I enjoy immensely and which do flirt with competing and jockey for position, but sweet and sour pork at that little store-front across from the Capitol in Columbus, Ohio, is still the ambrosia to my palate.

Of course, over the years I have learned that it’s also an overnight delivery system for death. There isn’t anything in it that’s good for you and everything is a greasy slide to Valhalla (I used the Viking heaven in respect to the pork).

So the truth of the matter is, when we actually find our ambrosia, we must be willing, as mature and healthy adults, to walk away from it and pretend that other foods which are not nearly as lethal are actually as flavorful.

Even though I’m convinced that neither Meryl Streep nor Tom Hanks could pull off such a performance, I will learn my lines and deliver them on cue in the great play … acting the part of a more balanced eater.

Aggravate

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter AAggravate: (v) 1. to make a problem injury, offense or situation worse 2. to annoy or exasperate

It takes two sticks rubbed together to create a fire.

At least, that’s what I hear. Having never actually used that method to generate the friction, I’m not certain it’s true, but I have no reason to question it.

I do get aggravated. When I calm myself down and think about what caused my aggravation, I realize it’s always one stick that I brought and another stick brought by somebody else.

The main stick I bring to create aggravation is always insecurity. It would be difficult for me to notice when I was being mistreated unless there’s a part of me that’s looking for it.

The people who aggravate me are individuals who bring their own insecurity my direction, and I begin to rub my stick of inferiority against them, resulting in fiery disagreement.

Why am I insecure? Here are three reasons:

1. I need too much. I have plenty, but rather than reveling in my abundance, I look over the shoulder of my benefactor to see if there’s more coming. What an idiot.

2. Part of me is not happy unless others have less. It hurts me to even write these words down–but there is a childish little boy inside me, who sometimes hopes that I end up with one more than my friends.

3. I believe in a God I don’t always trust. My prayers of politeness are not stimulated from my soul of belief. I am not always convinced that my “Father which art in Heaven” is willing to get off His throne and come to my house.

You put these three together and you have a stick up your rear that’s ready to be rubbed against somebody else’s inconsistency to create aggravation. And aggravation is the siphon that sucks all the fuel and potential out of human talent.

How can I stop feeling insecure? There is an old hymn which affords us an answer:

“Count your blessings                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Name them one by one…”

Every time I do this, I am nearly embarrassed by the bounty provided for me–by God, life, my friends and my own abilities. It chases away my insecurity.

At that point, it is very difficult for me to become aggravated because I have no stick to rub.

May I remind myself of this today … and begin the count.

Afterlife

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter AAfterlife: (prep) 1. life after death 2. later life e.g. they spent most of their afterlife trying to forget the fire.

There is a certain presumption to the idea of heaven which often makes me uncomfortable. It’s this notorious notion that we can live a meager existence, fraught with fault, indecision and selfishness, and because God in heaven has granted us salvation, we will suddenly be translated into eternal, enlightened creatures.

I always wonder what people would think if heaven ended up just being their life–except maybe moving it to Hawaii. In other words, just a little better surroundings, but you bring your furniture.

What if heaven is not a relief of our pain, but instead, an individualized celebration of our discoveries on Earth? What if the misery we have claimed as our own is not alleviated, but instead, continued–just surrounded by hula girls and beaches?

Would the change in surroundings be enough to make us enjoy our choices better?

It’s confounding–because everything on earth works with a delicate balance of effort, patience and grace.

  • Effort in the sense that I actually show up and do my best
  • Patience because good things sometimes take a while
  • And grace because God, in His mercy, grants it to those who are truly humble

How can there be an afterlife if there wasn’t first a life?

If we offer a meager resume to the heavenly corporation, why do we think we are up for a promotion?

Well, you can believe what you want to believe. I think there’s a four-step process to making a life which would make any kind of afterlife absolutely delectable:

  1. Find what you can do.
  2. Do it well.
  3. Get better
  4. Help somebody.

This is the life I choose–and if I were asked to continue it in another place … I would be overjoyed to do so.