Tag Archives: soul

Apoplectic

dictionary with letter A

Apoplectic (adj.) 1. informal overcome with anger. 2. dated relating to apoplexy (stroke).

If anger is a turd, then rage is a pile of manure. And if we were able to deal with our turds, we wouldn’t have to shovel our shit.

You see, that’s the problem.

Some sense of false kindness prevents us from speaking our hearts, causing us to be deceptive rather than forthcoming.

It doesn’t change the fact of what we feel. Choosing a gentle answer does not make us more gentle. It actually causes us to create a second storehouse, where we stockpile resentment instead of building up our barns of blessing.

It is impossible for me to live a blessed life if I’m pissed off–and the longer I stay pissed off, the less chance I have of ever satisfying the breach I’ve created in my own emotions and soul.

Nowhere is this more evident than in the driving habits of the American traveler. People who would normally appear rational lose all sense of dignity when they get behind the wheel of an automobile, because they feel they’re protected by armor, like a knight on a crusade to kill dragons. They become profane, horn-honkers and selfish intruders into the lives of other human movers.

Why? Because the anger that should have been dealt with days ago is now stinking up the joint.

There is one mission in discovering the value of human life: don’t be afraid to say what you feel … as long as you’re prepared to be wrong.

And since most people are not suited for such an admission of guilt, they would rather keep their feelings to themselves and maintain them in a chest of self-righteousness.

  • Rage is what kills.
  • Anger is what opens the door to communication.

If we allow ourselves to be transparent in our emotions, we will avoid the danger of rage.

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Animosity

dictionary with letter A

Animosity: (n.) strong hostility

When does what I don’t like become that which I ignore, which ultimately is deemed by me to be something worthless?

Although I think we believe that animosity is a visceral emotion, shown forth by our actions, the real danger of animosity is the nasty dislike in our soul that causes us to disdain the possibility of anything good coming out of what we have decided is crap.

It’s not just that bigotry fills our hearts and that we were taught that certain people, events, talents, attitudes and beliefs are meaningless. It is a disregard for things we disagree with, considering them foolish.

But after all, we are all atheists in the sense that we don’t believe in everyone else’s gods.

  • We sneer at them.
  • We laugh at them.
  • We call them ludicrous.

Think of this: in the Christian faith, we look with horror on some sub-culture which throws a young virgin into a volcano as a sacrifice to a molten god, while simultaneously worshipping a Savior who died on a cross for our sins as an equally innocent victim of sacrifice.

Therefore animosity is when we fail to notice our own hypocrisy, and attribute stupidity only to the other guy.

It is why prejudice still exists in this country. With that prejudice comes a brattiness and self-righteousness that lends itself to insults instead of introspection about why we feel the way we do about others.

Even though I have worked on my soul diligently, to prune away all the branches of dead-head ideas and superstitious beliefs, I still occasionally come across a patch of withered vines entwined with my brain, sprouting the “grapes of wrath.”

Yet as long as I am aware that I am a work in progress and that I will need to continue to chop all the animosity out of my life which is based on my piety … I have a chance at becoming a decent human being.

 

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Ambivalent

dictionary with letter A

Ambivalent: (adj.) having mixed or contradictory feelings about something or someone

I am ambivalent about writing an essay on ambivalence, or my ambivalence is quite evident about the word, ambivalent.

Either way, I, for one, have grown weary of honoring certain topics, subjects and even concepts that are considered to be sacred, which no longer deliver any potential to humanity.

Matter of fact, I have recently been in discussions with individuals both liberal and conservative, and noticed that the reason progress is impossible is that the respect we hold for certain beliefs and attitudes is so inflexible that to ask these virtues or precepts to produce a fruitful conclusion is considered unrighteous.

Here’s what I think: if you’re going to believe in God, it should show up somewhere other than in your bad attitude. If what you think, feel, and desire does not make you more gentle, caring and expressive, then I think the assertion is not only worthy of being challenged, but should be voted on for extinction.

Case in point: don’t tell me it’s in the Constitution and therefore should be revered. Please convince me why it’s still in the Constitution.

I would appreciate you not telling me it’s in the Bible and is therefore the holy word of God if you cannot give me a factual representation of why it exists in the first place.

There are three criteria for being zealously affected by a good thing. Without these three ideas, I feel rather ambivalent about what’s offered to me.

  1. Is it going to help people be better people?
  2. Does it give everybody a chance to find their best effort and soul?
  3. Does it take into consideration the needs and freedoms of others, which would include protecting them from getting hurt?

There you go.

Anything you want to share with me that does not fall into one of those three categories, I am totally ambivalent about. And if you continue to pursue it on my watch, I could become your adversary.

  • For years and years we were ambivalent about racial equality. We were wrong.
  • We were ambivalent about women voting. Wrong again.
  • We now face a whole series of issues which we’re trying to table, expressing our ambivalence and eliminating solutions. Is it safe to say that we soon will be called wrong?

Look at my three and tell me what you see.

I would be curious.

Amass

dictionary with letter A

Amass: (v.) to gather together or accumulate a large amount or number

Oh, cautious soul that I truly am, I am always suspicious of the majority.

When human beings amass in large quantities, stuffing themselves into arenas, large sanctuaries or convention halls, I become a bit disconcerted.

Because to gain applause you have to get the approval of many people at the same time. Already that connotes a great degree of compromise. It also encourages demagogues, who espouse the present popular stumping, screaming from the podium until the listeners become frenzied.

Every time I become concerned about my level of popularity or fame I go on the Internet and watch a news reel of Adolph Hitler circa 1932 in Germany. No one could have had more charisma. If you read his speeches in English, they are filled with nationalism, pride and a great sense of “Yay us.” So of course, people amassed behind such encouraging themes.

But here is the startling fact: human beings are just better when we’re not kissing our own ass (or nearby asses).

Certainly we require a certain amount of appreciation, but mingled in with that should be adequate doses of challenges, questioning and even the occasional on-the-spot review.

Although I realize that I am in the minority in my lack of acceptance for the majority, I will tell you that the best decisions I have made in my life, the most amazing transitions and the most valuable conclusions arrived at in my soul, were accomplished in moments of reflection, and punctuated by seasons of repentance.

  • So those who amass wealth are prodded in their spirits to give it away. If they aren’t, we call them “stingy butt-holes.”
  • Those who amass friends are in need of sharing that friendship with the entire world instead of swallowing it whole. Otherwise we think of them as glory-hounds, flitting from one party to another.
  • And those who amass respect are obligated to share it with “the least of the brethren” around them, so as not to convince the gathered horde that superiority has been achieved, and therefore the inferior ones should be trekked to the gas chamber.

I don’t believe in a lonely life. But I do believe that the “road less traveled” is not only quieter, but gives you a chance to look deep inside and discover the need for improvement.

 

Allegro

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Allegro: 1. (n) the name of a passage or movement of music in a fast tempo 2. (adj.) at a brisk tempo

I used to believe with all my heart, soul, mind and strength that appearing to be smart, intellectual, well-versed and verbal was essential in order to maintain the integrity of the self-deception of my general superiority. I did stupid stuff:

  • I lied about my qualifications.
  • I embellished on my abilities.
  • I touted my sexual prowess.
  • And I exaggerated the depth of my understanding.

I was afraid that the package of human ability provided for me was insufficient to my personal indebtedness.

One day I just woke up and got sick of being a fool. I stopped wearing the jester’s hat and dancing for the kings. I realized that the greatest gift I could give myself was to stop faking it.

The greatest gift I could give to God was to find a way to get along with human beings.

And the greatest way to get along with other human beings was to simplify what I shared with them.

You see, when I read the word “allegro,” I think of all the pretentious musicians I have ever met, who think they are extraordinarily sophisticated by expressing musical notations in Latin or Italian, which, when translated, still mean “fast, slow, loud and soft.” You see, the Italians were not trying to be “poofy”–it was just their language.

If you find yourself searching for a word to express a simple idea so that you can impress those around you, then you are probably suffering from a severe case of viral “jerkitis.” Especially if you need to say the words with a foreign accent or a bit of flourish in your pronunciation.

So when I’m discussing music in a recording studio and find myself surrounded by the “hierarchy” of the craft, I don’t use the word “allegro.” I merely say, “This is faster.”

Yes, often they correct me, using the proper term for such a maneuver.

But I just smile, knowing in my soul that the art of simplicity is the true definition of intelligence.

Aladdin’s Lamp

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Aladdin’s lamp: (n) a talisman enabling its holder to gratify any wish

I guess I’ve thought about this. Who hasn’t?

What would I do with three wishes?

It’s been the plotline of dramas and comedies throughout the history of entertainment. And indirectly, both religion and politics have alluded to such an unlikely possibility.

I guess, for me, it’s easy. Before pursuing three wishes, I would have to deal with my own needs. Maybe I should use a wish for it: “I wish I understood my own heart better.”

What is my heart?

  • It’s the emotional part of me which controls who I am, which I publicly deny as having any authority over my being.
  • It is how I carefully learn to maneuver my selfishness into a practical application which still includes room for others.
  • It’s where I learn to budget sufficiency until it becomes wealth.
  • My heart is a place where I am no longer afraid to express my feelings for fear of transparency
  • It is a journey into a cave with the hope of finding light at the end of the tunnel.
  • It is admitting that I have love for myself which I should translate equally to others.
  • It is taking my position as the “light of the world” and the “salt of the earth” without it ending up being a pompous boast.
  • It is stopping to think that if I am thirsty, someone else might need a cup of cold water.
  • It is clearing out my inner being without being afraid of discovering too many rats and spiders.

Yes, before I could rub Aladdin’s lamp and promote my three wishes, I would have to understand what I really desire and why it is of value to me.

After all, what is of more consequence?

The idea? Or the person who thinks?

The prayer? Or the faithful soul?

The well-sung hymn? Or the passionate singer?

Sometimes we forget: wishing for things means they have to be used by people.

In order for that to be effective, we should wish for understanding.

Alacrity

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Alacrity: (n) brisk and cheerful readiness: e.g. she accepted the invitation with alacrity.

I think the greatest debate in the human family is this: to understand that there is a difference between what we think should be and what we are actually stuck with.

Lots of folks spend a lot of their quality time complaining about the injustice, unfairness and inequity of what has been perpetrated against their circumstances, only to discover that “raging against the machine” does not seem to turn off the engine.

It’s really a simple principle.

If you decide to manufacture good cheer as a reaction to everything that happens in your life, at least you buy time to receive the opportunity to rectify the violation.

Sometimes it seems like Mother Nature and humanity have joined together to piss us off just enough to have us impudently stomp our feet and run from the room without ever contributing our talent or faithfulness. Yes, it is possible to be rendered ineffective, not because we lack ability, but because we cannot maintain stability.

Alacrity–it’s a decision:

  • I would rather be at peace with myself than right.
  • I would rather produce a sense of humor and cheer than be acknowledged.
  • I would rather reflect on better ideas than park my soul in the middle of a busy freeway, inviting others to bang into me.

Is it easy to do? I guarantee you–it is no more difficult than finding yourself fighting with others for the rights to your life, which they have already decided not to grant you.

It’s a great word–because it is the belief that as long as we’re pursuing a sense that is common and a joy that is needful, to fake it is truly to make it.

The play-acting is well worth the effort.

 

Again

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Again: (adv) another time; once more

It’s all about french fries.

For a very brief season, french fries lost their appeal–they became an afterthought: “Would you like fries with that?”

Having already selected my sandwich of choice and determined my milkshake preference, I had french fries thrust upon me by my server, giving me the sensation that they were trapped in the back, toasted brown, desperately lonely. Matter of fact, in that era, not much care was put into them.

They began to taste like fried sticks.

So you had to decide if you were gonna have french fries AGAIN.

You see, the trouble with the word “again” is that it threatens to become repetitive, bringing sameness to our lives, which causes us to become bored, robbing us of entertainment.

Thus french fries.

Matter of fact, I am not sure they could have survived this season of doldrums if someone had not come along to smear them with cheese, bacon, jalapenos, and I don’t know…maybe even whipped cream. Then french fries gained interest because they brought along friends and a fresh outlook. They were welcome–even flirting with the possibility of bumping the main course.

It’s not that there’s anything WRONG with “again,” but normally when we use the word, our voices trail off into the great pit of despair:

  • “I have to go to school … again.”
  • “It’s Sunday morning church … again.”
  • “I’ve been married for thirty years. I guess it’s time to kiss my wife … again.”

If we don’t do something to spice up the side dishes of our lives with innovation and flavor, having something “again” will never be pleasant. It will become the kind of march to blandness that convinces us that we’ve been cheated rather than blessed.

I’m going to write my essay again …but I’m going to make it cheesy and spicy.

Afternoon

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter AAfternoon: (n) the time from noon or lunchtime to evening.

Here’s a secret: life is about uncovering your delusions and quietly correcting them before they smack you in the face.

All of us are delusional.

The difference between success and failure is whether you acknowledge your delusion, hunt down these little pieces of silliness in your soul and extract them before they diminish your true opportunities.

Let us deal with the delusion of “afternoon.”

An interesting quandary: lots of people hate the morning, insisting they aren’t “morning people,” and also would not consider doing anything in the evening, since it’s their “free time.” So they put tremendous pressure on the afternoon, when they have the least  amount of energy and possibilities, and the fewest contacts with people who are awake and ready to indulge in commerce.

Can there be a worse time to do business than from 1:00 P.M. to 4:00 P.M.? Successful people already started the ball rolling in the morning, and those who love the evening hours approach the afternoon as if it WERE morning.

You find yourself in a no man’s land.

Now, you can feel free to disagree with this assessment, and some of you probably will. But here’s what I have found to be intelligent: whether you like it or not, the morning is when things happen. If you get over the delusion that you cannot function in those early, waking hours, you can learn to take your day on and use the afternoon in a more Mexican light.

Use it for a siesta.

Since most people slow down after lunch because of high blood sugar and general fatigue, as much as you can, try to bring less importance to the afternoon and more value to it as personal time.

For instance, I take a nap.

Having risen early in the morning to write, do commerce and take care of personal affairs, after lunch I allow myself the great delight of snuggling and snoozing. When I arise in the late afternoon, I am ready for a second bout with the day, usually involving more time with friends and family.

If you live for the night you will become a vampire and suck out your own blood.

But if you live for the afternoon, you will wonder why there isn’t much business or activity going on.

If you live for the morning, you will overcome your fear of scrambled eggs and find that there are many other people, industrious in nature and wise in discovery … who will meet you there.

Affectation

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Affectation: (n) behavior, speech or writing that is artificial and designed to impress: e.g. the affectation of a man who measures every word for effect

Carlotti loved women with a burning passion that seared his soul with a fire of desire over the fabulous feminine flowers that paraded before him. It was a concoction of tenderness mingled with a ferocity of energy that at times made him feel as if he would be of danger to a young maiden, yet greatly relieved when only pleasure came her way.

Although he felt this bursting exuberance for all the daughters of Eve, it was Darnella, the Lovely, who was the center of his attention, and a fuel to his consuming fire.

Complicating his drive and vigorous vitality was the fact that he was a vampire, so blended with his gentle touch was the uncontrollable desire to not only smell, feel and embrace the object of his affection, but also … to taste it.

But an additional grumbling and growling deep within the confines of his inner being was the awareness that because of an inter-marriage generations back in his family, he was also a werewolf.

How could he take the fragile Darnella and possess her with the entire magnitude of his virility without endangering her with the violence of the wolf?

Carlotti was a man possessed and obsessed at the same time. Nothing could keep him away from his Darnella. He desired to absorb her–not just for now, but for all eternity.

Ladies and gentlemen: affectation.

Or better phrased, a sampling of 21st Century American Literature.