Tag Archives: theologians

Crave

 Crave: (v) to long for

I am very familiar with three great cravings.

They are not unique to me nor can they be labeled by the simple titles “good and evil.” But I know that all three of these have, do and funny wisdom on words that begin with a Cprobably will wiggle their way into my thinking and manifest themselves as desires.

The trouble is, each craving demands that I take on a certain responsibility. Or maybe “responsibility” is over-spoken. It’s actually more like a chore.

1. I crave orgasm.

It feels good. It’s a pleasant burst. There’s just enough unpredictable about it that each encounter possesses uniqueness. It is a few brief seconds when I no longer care that I am human, and I allow all the animal stoked deep inside me to roar.

With this craving comes a chore. It’s called sex. Although we insist that sex is pleasurable, it is actually the orgasm that brings the ecstasy, and to achieve that we go through the practice, interaction, danger and mediocrity of sexual relations with another person.

This certainly is why masturbation is so popular.

2. I crave companionship.

The chore that comes with this particular quest is people.

Yes, unless I plan on having just dogs, cats and miscellaneous domesticated animals surrounding me, unable to carry on conversations, I will have to learn, understand and tolerate the actions of other Homo Sapiens.

The payoff is great, but the process is—well, shall we say, unending.

3. I crave immortality.

The chore with this, if you will, is dealing with God.

There is no evidence that I possess any likelihood of longevity beyond a century without a belief in an eternal home.

God becomes problematic.

He is so loving that He includes fools, religionists, shysters and the most boring theologians ever conjured in a seminary.

In my craving for orgasm, companionship and immortality I must survive the chores of sex, people and God.

There are times when I wonder if it’s worth it.

There are occasions I wish to be free of the entanglements and the conditions brought on in satisfying my cravings.

But usually, a good nap, a meal or allowing my mind to be free of pressure makes me once again a willing participant in the pursuit of what I crave.


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Ceaseless

Ceaseless: (adj) constant and unending

I will leave it to the damn theologians to scour the Holy Book, to find reasons for God to be angry with me. It seems to be what they do the best.

They are so determined to establish my sinful nature so I can be redeemed that they fail to remember that the ceaseless truth of salvation
 begins with the statement “for God so loved…”

There is a balance that should never be achieved. It is better left unbalanced.

I am better off believing that God loves me without having the addendum of a series of examples where that affection can be snatched away.

I don’t know if my love for my children is ceaseless–but I do realize that they need to believe it is.

I don’t know if my vein of creativity is limitless, but I certainly don’t benefit by doubting it.

And I don’t have any assurance whatsoever that the world will continue to revolve and not explode, implode or disassemble.

Yet believing in the ceaseless love of God and the tender attention of Mother Nature does my soul good.

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Burger

j-r-practix-with-border-2

Burger: (n) short for hamburger

Everybody’s looking for good.

But somewhere on that journey, a conflict arises between the idea of what is good and what tastes good.

Trying to apply angelic mannerisms to the human being is not only a fruitless task, but might fall into the definition of cruel and unusual punishment.

We are people. We are always looking for new ways to pleasure ourselves.

Even though our poets and theologians may suggest a different path, we smile at them as we quickly pass by on our way to pick up another deliciously greasy hamburger. Sometimes we’re willing to make it a turkey burger, but we’re never willing to make it a non-burger.

I think you have to consider where money is best spent. You could put your finance into training human beings into eating five servings of vegetables a day with very few carbs and little meat. But might it be better to accept the fact that we are burger-addicted, and work on a sandwich that tastes great and has few to no calories, so as to appease the need for flavor while still making us look good?

Let’s refer to it as the “Viagra of nutrition.”

If we swallow this pill or eat this particular burger, it will satisfy our need to be naughty without destroying our cardiovascular system.

Doesn’t that seem like a good expenditure of resource?

After all, have attempts at self-discipline in the human family ever done anything but create tension, self-doubt and furious outbursts of rage?

Burgers are not going away. Actually, we are finding that people go away before burgers do. So since they aren’t going away, why don’t we work on making them less harmful?

And while we’re at it, do the same thing with politics, religion and guns.

 

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Befuddle

Befuddle: (v) to make someone unable to think clearly.Dictionary B

It all boils down to one question:

What do you want?

Do you want to look good or do you want to live with the truth?

They aren’t the same, you know.

The truth does make you free. But if your goal in life is to look good, freedom doesn’t always achieve that purpose. Freedom just makes it possible for you to walk around without guilt.

That’s why the truth befuddles human beings.

We actually see no advantage to telling the truth–because we prefer lying and deceiving our fellow-travelers to telling the truth and sleeping well.

The truth befuddles.

It befuddles politicians because then they’re stuck with their record, which is always a mingling of achievement and carelessness.

It befuddles theologians because the obvious question of “now, how is God different from Santa Claus?” makes them defensive and causes them to fall back into an attack mode of scriptural brattiness.

It befuddles the educational system, because just about the time we are convinced that education has progressed us, new knowledge shows up to confound the wise.

And since we do not want to appear befuddled, we select to become aggressive and childish, protecting our egos at all cost.

Befuddled is the ridiculous idea that we should always be in a position of power. What could be more silly?

Why would we think that any part of creation would have the advantage of understanding all creation?

I never met a dog who was actually aware of my needs.

Why would I think that I, a mere mortal, should not occasionally be befuddled, since I don’t hold the keys to any kingdom … but only find myself stuck in traffic?

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Activate

Words from Dic(tionary)

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Activate: (v.) to make something active or operative.

Let me give you a new definition for intelligence: Intelligence is when you find an easier way to do something without sacrificing quality.

Do you remember when they came out with check cards? Or really, at the very beginning, with credit cards? They had a process they used to “activate” your account. Can you recall how ridiculously difficult it was?

It involved remembering some numbers, calling long distance, or driving to your local ATM and punching in something you couldn’t possibly regurgitate. Performing the task was usually followed by discovering that you had left some piece out of the process, leaving you holding your totally useless plastic rectangle.

It’s what I love about this country–discovering the best part of capitalism. That is, creating something, making your money from it as soon as possible and then dropping the price or simplifying the retrieval.

It’s why I would NEVER be the first to buy an I-Phone. I have no desire to be an entomologist. I will let all the first purchasers work out the bugs. I’ll just come along later, when I see signs advertising “New and Improved.”

For instance, I like restaurants that advertise, “Under New Managements.” They’re letting me know that somebody screwed up and that now they’re trying to screw it back down.

  • It would be wonderful at this point in our history if some true leaders and statesmen would appear, to activate our government.
  • If some whimsical, free-thinking theologians would activate our spirituality.
  • If some musical artists would activate our emotional souls.

But for that to happen, complexity will have to be set to the side as we giggle at how foolish it was to make things difficult.

Maybe that’s why I write this daily column–just to activate in each one of us the wisdom that is carried in the power of a single word.