Monthly Archives: February 2014

Aloe Vera

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Aloe Vera: (n) a gelatinous substance obtained from a kind of aloe, used especially in cosmetics as an emollient and for the treatment of burns.

My mother was obsessive.

I do not say that in a judgmental tone. Perhaps a certain amount of obsession is necessary to maintain maternal energy. I’m not sure.

But what she would often do was obsess over some idea, totally selling out her soul in that direction–until a new revelation made its way onto the horizon, which she embraced with equal fervor, although the past experience did not necessarily warrant such enthusiasm.

She went through an aloe phase.

She encountered someone who had an aloe plant and became so enthralled with the idea–that it was used in ancient times as a healing agent, and even appeared in the Bible, which gave it credibility and supernatural implications–that she decided to grow her own aloe plant.

It would be difficult to describe how much she fussed over the sprout. I thought she was going to expel a kidney in her anticipation of it completing its cycle and birthing the pods which contained the magic ointment.

Then–a problem. For you see, the aloe plant produces an ointment which is very helpful for treating burns or cuts. At least, that’s the promo. So once her plant had grown, she found herself in the uncomfortable position of hoping, at least secretly, that I would burn or cut myself, so she could try out her plant.

I’m sure she felt horrible to wish for such a difficulty to befall me. It may be my imagination, but I thought she left matches lying around more, and I can’t swear to it, but there seemed to be a few shards of glass near my toys.

But being a young boy, it wasn’t too long before I warranted treatment. Trying to mask her thrill over becoming an ancient physician of remedy, she expressed concern over my boo boo, and then broke off one of the pods from the plant and squeezed the gooey stuff onto my cut. Then, almost hourly, she checked the progress.

I cannot truthfully tell you that my finger healed any more quickly with the aloe vera than it did with some alcohol and a band-aid. But she was convinced.

Matter of fact, she brought me into the room in front of strangers, held out my wound for inspection and explained her mode of treatment. But like so many other things my mother pursued–and also due to the fact that it became difficult to plan enough injuries to maintain the enthusiasm about the aloe–she eventually dropped her care of the plant, and the poor little thing dried up and died.

We didn’t speak much about it after that. Matter of fact, she never used aloe vera again on any of my cuts. We were back to hydrogen peroxide and alcohol.

But I will never forget the first time my exuberant mother squeezed gooey-gooey from a plant onto my finger.

It brought her joy.  So I offered an obligatory smile.

Alms

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Alms: (n) money or food given to poor people

Unless you’re wearing a robe and walking around Galilee with a message of eternal life, the word “alms” will probably never come to play.

But I do think it’s important to understand what an alm truly is.

We live in a society where charitable giving is funneled through organizations which take their own hunk out of the generosity for office expenses and personnel.

We like this system. We enjoy it because paper is passed on to people who do the work and we don’t have to worry about it.

We never find out the destination of our alms; we never actually have a visual of the individuals who are helped. In some strange way we think this makes it even better, so our personal prejudices or time limitations are not involved in the distribution of the wealth.

But you see–that’s not really what an alm is.

An alm is a desire to find someone every day who needs something you have, and making sure that person has a name, a face and a smell–someone directly in front of you who is given the chance to do whatever he or she decides with your contribution.

Some people have a problem giving money to the homeless because they’re afraid they’ll use it for alcohol. They might. But think how angry you would be if your employer demanded a list of purchases from you which had to be approved by the main office before you were granted a paycheck.

Occasionally someone will comment that they think I am a generous soul. I just laugh. I’m just as selfish as the next bastard–so inwardly involved that I’m greedy for the sensation that I receive when I personally impart a gift to someone, see their face light up, and realize that for that moment they believe I am not only blessed of God, but have descended like an angel to bring good cheer from supernal heights.

Yes, I lust for an opportunity to “play god”–to stand face-to-face next to folks in need, granting them a piece of their missing puzzle.

We lose something when we write a check to a mega-organization which earns its grits and gravy by collecting funds from people who would rather not make physical contact.

  • I want to be the alm-giver.
  • I want to see, smell, hear and feel the sensations of those who receive the alms.
  • I want to give–not so people around me will notice–but so I notice, and for that moment, I feel there is more God in me than ghoul.

 

Almost

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Almost: (adv.) not quite or very nearly: e.g. he almost knocked Georgina over

I don’t want to be cynical but I must point out that we have become the Almost States of America.

“Almost” is our new favorite word. It used to be a compound word — “fries-with-that.” But now, we have embraced the message of emotional anemia, spiritual weakness, mental denseness and physical laziness.

May I give my definition of “almost?”

  • It is the universal certificate given for trying.
  • It is the party thrown for a victory that never arrived.
  • It is the hug provided for losers.
  • It is the hand grenade that never exploded.
  • It is the swimming pool without water.
  • It is the kiss on the cheek.
  • It is the “let’s be friends” in the vernacular.
  • It is the pat on the back instead of the vigorous thump.
  • It is the reassurance we give one another, that most of the time it is the lot of human beings to see the finish line and pull over well short, for a McDouble.

I am guilty of failing, but I have forbidden my addicted, crack-whore soul from going down the path to the pusher of inadequacy and getting my fix of blandness.

Yes, I am prepared to fail without being told that I tried.

I want to look at the pile of stink I’ve left behind in my endeavors without insisting that it’ll be good fertilizer for the future.

I want to admit that my “almost” was not only not good enough, but should be forgotten as quickly as possible, in a flurry of sweat-drenched training.

  • We almost have a President.
  • We almost have a Congress.
  • We almost have progress.
  • We almost have racial equality.
  • We almost have an educational system.
  • We almost have a solution for poverty.
  • We almost have drug addiction on the run.
  • We almost have figured out gun control.
  • We almost have a church.
  • We almost have entertainment.
  • We almost have excellence.
  • We almost have almost of what we need, without having almost of what it will take to do almost everything.

Don’t tell me I tried. Don’t tell me I almost got it. Let me fail. Let me suffer.

Let me rise from my ashes  … and do better.

The Almost States of America could never have won the Civil War. We could never have defeated Hitler. And we certainly would never have landed a man on the moon.

If we’re not careful, hundreds and hundreds of years from now we will be remembered like ancient Athens–a society that tried democracy … and almost pulled it off.

 

Almighty

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Almighty: (adj.) having complete power; omnipotent: e.g God Almighty

Not necessary for me. I don’t require anything almighty.

Matter of fact, almighty intimidates me.

The notion that there is any Presence, Being or Force at work which is omnipotent and possesses “all power” is what I would call overkill. After all, my wildest request wouldn’t demand anything more than efficient.

  • Yes, I require an efficient God.
  • I yearn for an efficient government.
  • My finance, talent, family and dreams can be equally as efficient.

To believe that Something, Someone or even the Creator of all things is Almighty is just a childish attempt on our parts to promote a different rendition of “my dad can beat up your dad.”

I need God to be vulnerable. It’s why I love the story of Jesus: God came to earth as a human being, crapped, peed, argued with his family, got unexplained rashes, ended up angering idiots and lost his life at the whim of imbeciles.

Don’t you find that comforting? If Jesus had come on earth and scored fifty points in the basketball game, what use would he have been to me, as I practiced trying to make one free throw?

I know some people contend that they couldn’t worship a God that wasn’t all-powerful. I find it difficult to fathom one who is.

I am completely enamored, in awe and appreciative of a Universal Creator who is somewhat at the mercy … of human free will.

 

Alma Mater

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Alma Mater: (n) the school, college or university that one once attended.

Through the years of deep devotion

We will ever loyal be

Love and cherish all our memories

Of our high school days with thee

And the portals we’ll remember

Friends who made our lives sublime

Alma Mater, Alma Mater

Praises be forever thine.

I have no idea why I remember the words to that song from my high school, but I had absolutely no problem conjuring them.

It is a testament to the power of the educational system–its ability to infuse lasting knowledge, and I suppose, insecurities, into its students and victims, respectively.

By the way, we thought it was extraordinarily hilarious to taunt our aging high school English teacher, who penned the words, by telling her that the tune for her verse was borrowed from Hitler’s Nazi Germany list of favs.

Such scamps we were.

Allure

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Allure: 1. (n) the quality of being powerfully and mysteriously attractive or fascinating 2. (v) to powerfully charm

One of the things that tickles me about society and human beings as a whole is how quickly we come to the conclusion that we know what we’re talking about, and then actively pursue a path which in the end often proves itself to be erred.

Such is the situation with the concept of attraction, of, if you will, being alluring.

As a man, I was taught that women like muscles, strong bodies, great good looks and sexual prowess. And I believe I can speak freely to say that women are trained to hold dear that beauty, large breasts, femininity and bit of sheepish submission is required in order to allure a man.

Simultaneously, we reject these stereotypes in our more intellectual exchanges as being ridiculous and strident.

But it doesn’t change the patter within the sexes nor has that enlightened view yet reached our entertainment sources.

Here’s what I think is alluring:

1. Don’t be stupid. If you find yourself caught in a stupid situation, quickly laugh at yourself, learn and come out smarter.

2. Don’t be ugly. Everybody has an attribute of some sort which they can play up, as they play down their warts and moles.

3. Know how to carry on a conversation. I call it “the second question.” Most people know how to ask one question, but they don’t know how to follow up on that answer with a second inquiry, which keeps the conversation alive.

4. Be funny. And that does not mean making fun of other people. It actually means that a certain amount of poking at oneself is necessary to create the humility that makes us adorable.

5. And finally, don’t stink. Yes, work on how you smell. Very little is more repugnant in the human experience than an odor which overcomes any desire to welcome closeness.

There you go.

I’m not a particularly attractive person, but I have never lacked friends, lovers and the ability to allure people my way. I will grant you that it doesn’t hurt to be stunningly handsome or gorgeous.

But if you don’t have these other five things lined up in a salute to that physical appearance, your lovely visage can become distasteful very quickly.

How do we allure human beings? By admitting that we’re human … and not ashamed of it.

Allude

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Allude: (v) suggest or call attention to; to hint at

I don’t think there are a whole lot of things that frustrate and aggravate me to the point that I become a cantankerous old fool. Maybe I’m too prideful, but I think I’ve overcome getting upset over simple inconveniences.

But I will tell you–I absolutely hate it when people try to hint or allude to what they want instead of coming right out and asking for it.

Matter of fact, one of my sons, in his early years, had the history of doing this practice so much that whenever we get together we joke about it. When he was in high school, if he came in the room and I was eating ice cream, he would start by questioning me about the flavor or comment on how “lovely it appeared in the bowl.”

Obviously, he wanted some. But because it pissed me off that he was alluding to asking for ice cream, I played stupid and pretended I didn’t understand–which made him allude even more.

Having counseled many married couples over the years, I will tell you that the most common reason for the demise of a relationship is when people begin to believe that they have asked for something, but never really did. Just hinted at it, and assumed their partner picked up on the points.

  • There’s something powerful about the spiritual notion of “ask and ye shall receive.”
  • How about this one? “You don’t have it because you haven’t asked for it.”
  • Or a third: “Enter boldly and make your requests known.”

I don’t know whether we’re afraid of hearing a no, or if we just think we come across humble when we skirt the issue, trying to make it someone else’s idea to be generous.

But in the long run, human beings admire clean much more than they do the little escapades we attempt in order to avoid the simple process of making a request.

If you’re ever around me, don’t allude. It turns me into my mother and father … who could occasionally be of the grumpy sort.

 

Alloy

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Alloy: (n) a metal made by combining two or more metallic elements, usually to give greater strength or resistance to corrosion

Since I don’t know anything about metal, I will refrain from trying to come off as someone who just read a short Wikipedia explanation in order to espouse expertise.

Let me instead use the word “alloy” to suggest the melding of two great ideas–which, when smelted, create a bond which is difficult to break.

The first idea is “No one is better than anyone else.”

Every culture which has ignored this principle, or set it aside to temporarily gain the approval of the majority, has found itself flailing, devoid of purpose and alienating the very citizens who could have brought about progress.

The second idea we would like to bind into this mixture is, “Be fruitful and multiply; replenish the earth.”

Can you imagine what would happen if we set these two ideas into motion–to collide in a unity of purpose to become the backbone of our culture?

No one is better than anyone else–and because we hold that truth to be self-evident, we encourage you to be fruitful, expansive, creative and bring about the multiplication of new energy, instead of dividing us into little sects and groups, so that we can replenish the earth instead of robbing it of all of its resources.

The day we understand that equality and creativity are not conservative and liberal concepts, but rather, issues of survival, will be when we wake up and become intelligent enough to be worthy of the brain space we have been granted.

What a great alloy.

Even though each one is individually a strong concept, when united, they give us the sniff of humanity and the power of our convictions instead of rendering us … hapless, over-evolved gorillas.

 

Allowance

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Allowance: (n) a sum of money paid regularly to a person

I had to get out my educated pencil. (I am often glad that my writing tool sought higher education, since I didn’t.)

Having an educated instrument, I can take my meager abilities in mathematics and join with this smart pencil and come up with some fascinating figures.

Case in point: when I was eleven years old, my father reluctantly gave me twenty-five cents a week for allowance. Actually, he held a quarter out in front of me and always offered at least two or three regrets and four or five warnings about the value of money and how important it was to spend it wisely.

But you must realize, this was at a time when twenty-five cents would buy you five candy bars.

This was my allowance.

In comparison, when I lived in Hendersonville, Tennessee, with my children, I gave each one of them fifteen dollars a week. Making use of my magical pencil of intellect, I realize that this was very similar to the quarter I received when I was eleven. For now a decent candy bar at a convenience store can cost upwards to $1.50 to $2.00, and everything else is equally as inflated.

So which is better? To have a little bit of money with lots of possibilities, or have a lot of money with little possibility?

I also recall that by the time I reached my sixteenth birthday and wanted to go out on a date with a girl, my dad, who was now ailing from cancer, proudly handed me over a five-dollar bill for my first date. Similarly, when one of my young men in high school was going to be taking out a lady, it was necessary for me to give him three ten-dollar bills, which he still grumbled at, saying that he would have to really scrimp for dinner.

I know that the root word of “allowance” is “allow.” But even as a grown-up, I am learning that it is possible to simplify your finance even in the midst of raging increases. You don’t have to feel like you’re cheating yourself. Just “pass” on opportunities that don’t give you the payoff you desire.

For instance, when the alarming transition occurred and candy bars went from a nickel to a dime, I had to negotiate my purchases much more carefully, while waiting for the eventuality that my parents would catch on … and pop me up to fifty cents.

 

Allotment

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Allotment: (n) the specified amount  of something allocated to a person

Sometimes it’s not that words are bad. It’s just the company they keep.

I remember when I was in school. We had a principal and a vice principal, and I discovered after a while that the job of the vice principal was to wander the halls and tell the students why certain things couldn’t be bought for the school. It was because there was no allotment in the budget.

Yes, he was there to douse all hope for improvement, blessing or pleasure.

Somewhere along the line, good news has to be brought to human beings or we become old way too soon and cranky without needing to manifest such a negative emotion.

I know there are people who make their living teaching others how to budget money. Actually, there are famous public speakers and motivational authors who travel the country, instructing in financial solvency and ways to make sure that you don’t “live beyond your means.”

It’s difficult to find fault with them, but in some ways, I still do.

Because the thing I know above all else is that coming out in the black at the end of the month can often be a reflection on your mood. The amount of pain, struggle, scrimping and self-righteous hoarding often done to achieve a balanced budget is certainly admirable, but not very pleasurable.

Sometimes you have to step out of the “allotment” and go with the moment’s sensation of celebrating the goodness of life. I know it’s irresponsible. I know it’s the kind of thing that maybe our ancestors would have frowned upon, but I occasionally find out that there isn’t an actual allotment for anything of value, yet value is still required.

And if faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen, then to believe that we cannot launch out in faith without peering at it in our wallets may be against the whole concept in the first place.

Sometimes what we need, require and dream is more important than making all the aspects of our lives add up.

  • I know it’s risky.
  • I know I’ve been foolish and ended up looking fool-hardy.

But life is more than allotments. It’s reaching the last breath of your time on the planet … and smiling because you did it well.