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Assume

Assume: (v) to suppose to be the case, without proofdictionary with letter A

I guess it is demanded of me that I tip my hat or give hommage to the classic joke that the word assume makes an “ass” out of “u” and “me.”

That fulfilled, though certainly not being righteous, I will tell you that “assume” is a word which is normally used by human beings until we get caught.

We expect things of people. We assume.

If they go buy an ice cream cone and we are in the car with them, we assume they will buy one for us. So great is this assumption that if they don’t, we feel the complete right to be offended, even though we never asked them to offer us an equal portion.

Assuming is part of life. There are some good things we assume:

  • We assume someone should say “thank you” when we give them a gift.
  • We assume that holding the door open for another human being should be common practice instead of the chivalry of a knight.
  • We assume that people will be faithful.
  • We even assume that God loves us, and that He is going to take us all to heaven someday.

So where does assumption go awry?

Whenever we assume things that are essential, and should not bet they should not be left to chance, we open the door to a disappointment of our own making, which we will certainly blame on others.

I venture to say that a majority of the misunderstandings between human beings is based on the fact that someone assumed something would happen, and when it did not, the offending party was viewed as an insufferable Cretin.

On the other hand, the party deemed to be the offender feels completely innocent because he or she was unaware of the need to perform any particular task.

There’s an old adage which says “you don’t have because you don’t ask.”

Yet asking can be very frightening.

So I guess the lesson about assuming is that we should work on being less afraid–otherwise, be prepared to go without… because we assume too much without making a formal request.

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Assuage

Assuage: (v) to make an unpleasant feeling less intensedictionary with letter A

Although the circumstances may vary, there are really only two paths of action that we can take in any given situation:

  1.  Am I going to deal with the reality as it exists in a truthful manner?
  2. Am I going to understand the reality and then make up my own rendition, which is more pleasing to my sensibilities?

We do it every day.

Things come up and we have a choice–do I accept my fault and involvement in the present fiasco, or am I desperately looking for ways to assuage my guilt?

It is so much a part of the human experience that other folks who love us will actually help us create a storyline which is more pleasing than the one presently being offered by circumstances.

I will not tell you that I have always pursued the path of truthful disclosure.

I would not be so foolish as to prophesy that going forward I will do so.

The best I can achieve is to admit to myself that both paths exist–and each and every time they come up, I willfully make a decision on my own, to either come clean or dirty up the back story.

Is there a difference?

Candidly, none of us would lie if we had not actually gotten by with it at one time or another. And certainly, the sensation of pulling off the fictitious explanation is so exhilarating that we may continue to do so to get the rush.

None of us are convinced that the truth will make us free. It not only seems unrealistic, it also appears to be downright inhuman.

Yet there is one abiding factor that cannot be escaped:

Confessing our faults is much preferable to denying them. Why? Because later we are cornered by our adversaries, who prove that we are not only transgressors, but liars.

So what will I do going forward, understanding that these two paths are constantly available to me in my dealings with others, and especially my own conscience?

I will try to tell the truth, remembering that the freedom it provides is the giddy spirit that does not need to avoid other people and other situations… in order to escape disclosure.

 

 

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Assortment

Assortment: (n) a miscellaneous collection of things or people.dictionary with letter A

Life really is not like a box of chocolates.

The premise offered by Mr. Gump is true–judging from the outside of the piece offered in the box, you are unable to tell what is inside.

But in our world, since we’re not all covered with chocolate, we have utilized prejudice and racism as a means of determining if we are going to enjoy each other’s flavor.

After all, there’s nothing worse than picking up a box of chocolates and discovering that little nibbles have been taken off of each and every piece by someone who was trying to find the perfect delicacy.

In a sense, it is impossible to look at the assortment of humankind and know exactly what they are like simply by viewing their exterior or their posterior. Yet we persist.

All white people are not anything.

I have met white people who have such thick Southern accents that you would swear they were hill folk, only to discover that they were highly educated and certainly much more intelligent than myself.

All black people aren’t “black” in their culture or thinking.

I have gone to congregations filled with people of color, only to discover that their particular rendition of life was much more sophisticated than mine.

It is difficult to evaluate human beings and the assortment they come in, by external means, though we certainly try hard to fulfill that mission.

The day will come when we realize that each one of us is born in a bunker of flesh and therefore, it is what we do inside that encasement that determines our identity.

Until then, since we are not all chocolate, we will judge each other by our outward appearance, and hopefully, gradually, inch our way toward a more God-like approach … of looking on the heart.

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Association

Association: (n) a group of people organized for a joint purpose.dictionary with letter A

“Guilty by association.”

What does that mean?

I guess the definition would be, “because I find myself in the proximity and influence of certain individuals, I am therefore equated to possess the same character.”

Even in the definition afforded us by Mr. Webster, we have two words that immediately seem to be at war with each other: “organized” and “purpose.”

For often, you see, the purity of a purpose is greatly diluted by the process of organizing.

A political party may begin on the premise that “all men are created equal,” only to end up with the evolution of “equal men are all created.” It’s a twist in the phrase which allows us to determine that certain people are not equal because of their intelligence, background or even hue.

It is in the process of organization that we often lose our purpose, and end up in an association with other individuals who share a common name, having abandoned a royal theme.

I am a Christian. Yet I am often hesitant to speak that aloud because it conjures images into the mind of the hearer that are contrary to my true heart and beliefs.

On the other hand, if I don’t claim any association, I can be viewed as a renegade or a heretic, off on my own, trying to create god in my image.

It is tricky business.

So it is my practice to not join associations–especially when they spend more time organizing than pursuing purpose. 

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Assistance

Assistance: (n) the action of helping someone

dictionary with letter A

There are many wrinkles that come with aging.

Some invade your face and others permeate your brain with wisdom, which allows you the intelligence to avoid extra work or embarrassing situations.

When I was younger I was convinced that my talents, abilities, personality and energy were of great assistance to anyone who was smart enough to employ them. Because I forced myself into situations, I also quickly proved that I was insufficient in areas where I had claimed quality.

This did not make me repentant, but rather, defensive.

Having blown out a few more birthday candles, I now realize that there are three ways to be of assistance.

  1. Do what you do and let people find out what you do, and then, if they feel the need to ask for what you do, let them do so.
  2. Quietly insert your gifts without blowing a trumpet, enhancing the project and having the satisfaction of knowing that you’ve contributed without requiring great applause.
  3. Stay the hell out of the way.

And of course, I must tell you:

The third option is much more necessary than the other two put together.

 

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Assimilate

Assimilate: (v) to take in information, ideas, or culture and understand fully.dictionary with letter A

Our sophistication has rendered us ignorant.

We have “thought” our way into thoughtlessness.

We have studied, totally escaping the true attributes of being studious.

We’ve worked on the false premise that human beings are all different–and although it seems like an open-minded concept, the underlying message is that we are incapable of totally embracing one another because our uniqueness creates wedges among us.

It is a dangerous lie.

The truth that should be assimilated into the consciousness of each and every person walking the face of the earth is that at least 85% of what we desire, feel and pursue is identical.

The other 15% is similar to picking your favorite flavor of Pop-Tart. In other words, it may seem important, but after you’ve munched on a few bites, cherry and grape are pretty much the same.

It will take a great sense of humor and unity, mingled with some confrontation, for us to escape the ridiculous desire to separate from one another while simultaneously pretending we’re honoring cultures.

The great assimilation in the human race is that we’d better find ways to establish our worth by being valuable and creative… instead of just preaching that we are entities unto ourselves.

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Assign

Assign: (v) to allocate a job or duty.dictionary with letter A

“You have short, stubby fingers. You won’t be a good piano player.”

These are the words that tripped off the lips of my aunt one Sunday afternoon when I explained to her that I planned on taking piano lessons.

I was just seven years old, but she had already assigned me failure on my first project.

Not being the kind to quietly slip into the corner to cry and lick my wounds, I told her that what she said to me was stupid, and therefore ended up with a couple of smacks on my butt and time in my room.

But today, I can play piano.

Human beings feel they perform a service by assigning destiny, precautions or abilities to one another, therefore simplifying the path leading to the next adventure.

With all due respect and great warmness in my heart, I would like you to leave me the hell alone.

I am not even slightly curious about what you think I should do or what assignments I should take on based on my current situation or assumed aptitude.

For after all, I am a better person when I am challenged instead of just slipping off the rock and falling to the ground in a predictable heap.

If it is obvious to you that I should obviously do something, then it must be obvious to me that I obviously shouldn’t. Otherwise I will find myself living a life like I have been given a paint-by-number set and have no choice in determining my colors.

Old women and old men say old things, offering old, outdated possibilities.

If you want to stay young, the best way to achieve this status is to never try to be someone else’s agent for their talent.

“Let every man prove his own work, that he has rejoicing in himself alone and not another.”

Wise words.

Everything that was ever “assigned” to me was not only fictitious, but if I had pursued it, would have left me vacant of passion.

 

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Assets

Asset: (n) a useful or valuable thing, person, or quality.dictionary with letter A

Piling things up.

If we don’t discover the meaning of our existence, we just end up accumulating indiscriminately.

To find out the meaning of life without becoming terribly ethereal, we must understand that we are heart, soul, mind and strength.

Each one needs assets.

  • For my heart, I need enriching emotional experience to counteract my fear of being loved and my reticence on loving others.
  • I need spiritual assets–things to believe in which can exist on earth as they do in heaven.
  • Mentally, give me the treasure of knowing that I’m always in the process of renewing my need to know.
  • And my body requires the assets of healthy food, healthy sleep, healthy exercise and healthy usage.

Anything that assists these four units is an asset. Anything that doesn’t is a distraction.

Can it really be that simple?

I hope so–because complications make me either frustrated or self-righteous.

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Assess

Assess: (v) to evaluate or estimate the nature, ability, or quality of.dictionary with letter A

Long before the truth makes you free, it first makes you mad.

The trouble with the truth is that it rarely is concerned about our self-worth, feelings of comfortability or need to be appreciated.

That is why probably the most difficult thing we can possibly do is assess ourselves.

Some people spend thousands of dollars to be analyzed.

Other folks live in abusive relationships where they are overly criticized simply because they’ve allowed themselves to become so weak and unable to deal with their own fallacies that they allow someone else to brutalize them.

And then, a goodly portion of the human race blithely contends that they “are who the are” and everyone should just accept them.

  • So where’s the balance?
  • Is there a balance?
  • And how many times do we fall over while looking for the balance?

There are three major questions we should quietly ask ourselves at the end of each and every week, and do our darndest to be forthcoming and honest with our answers

  1. Did what I do this week actually work?
  2. Did I hurt anyone while doing what I do?
  3. Are there some obvious ways that it could be done better?

If we would take the opportunity to privately ask these three questions, we would not have to be nearly as defensive when others try to force the questions upon us.

Because I will tell you something from deep in my heart: if who I am today is the best I’m ever going to be, then I give up.

In other words, if I’m not ready to turn this into a journey of discovery instead of a march of independence, I will probably reach the end of my quest quite unfulfilled.

I assess myself: Often I do not like what I see; sometimes I’m surprised at my magnificence.

The balance of those two is what makes me powerful.

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Assert

Assert: (v) to state a fact or belief confidently and forcefully.dictionary with letter A

People certainly are more assertive than they used to be.

Sitting over a delicious breakfast of cereal this morning, my traveling partner asked me what I thought was different in our country since 2008.

I find that answer to be very simple: we have changed the default position of kindness to one of assertiveness.

We think it’s important to share our point, prove our point, defend our point and walk away from any conversation with our point not dulled.

So because of that, we have developed a rendition of the American culture and gospel of Jesus Christ mingled together which focuses on our own value to the detriment in consideration of others. It has happened so gradually that lots of people would take exception to this accusation.

But being assertive is not only risking being wrong, it is also cornering ourselves in what we have asserted, and makes us continue to stubbornly pursue ideas which may be ineffective.

So the politicians in our country assert that the problem is that people don’t vote, or that they have little concern for real issues, and that therefore, it is up to the politicians to guide the discussion and make the choices for the masses minus their involvement.

Religion spends so much time asserting either the sinfulness of mankind or our innate goodness that it fails to develop the truth which would make us free, which is that we are capable of good as we are also capable of evil.

And entertainment has no sense of responsibility for anything other than delivering a predictable round of art projects, which cause people to participate–unchanged.

I just don’t assert much anymore.

I think it’s important that the default position for dealing with human beings should be kindness, and that the default position for the work we do should be completion. Just those two things being in place would create a better country.

Because I can assert two definite truths in your direction:

  1. There is no law against kindness.
  2. And completing your work speaks for itself.

 

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