Chimpanzee

Chimpanzee: (n) a great ape

“Keeping an open mind so I can claim to have one…”

Yes, that’s me.

I don’t think I’m alone. It seems, in our generation, that being decried for having a closed mind is the worst insult we could sling at someone.
We all pretend that we are very willing to learn new things as we strategically place ourselves smack in the middle of repetition.

Being a person of faith, I got tired of those who are not bent in that persuasion, accusing me of being ignorant because of my insistence on valuing creation instead of adhering to evolution. Actually, I agree with evolution–up to a point.

And that point is the chimpanzee.

The chimpanzee is supposed to be our closest cousin, or some sort of relative. So one day I decided to go to the zoo, observe the chimpanzee, and discover what similarities I had with this non-kissing-cousin. I stayed for a full hour–matter of fact, I stayed so long that I think the little monkey became paranoid.

The chimpanzee seemed to have a great preoccupation with its own penis. It frequently reached down to pull on it, as if releasing it from some sort of prison.

The creature also favored scratching its ass, made unintelligible sounds, and hopped around from place to place with no real destination.

It became aggravated when someone took its food or threatened to occupy its space.

It seemed to glare a lot. (It could have been gas.)

It wasn’t particularly friendly. Of course, that could have been due to the fact that it was in a zoo instead of out on the Serengeti.

It didn’t like its fellow-monkeys, and appeared to be a little chippy, looking for a reason to argue.

It was obviously selfish.

It stopped from time to time–appearing to preen. (At least that’s the way I would describe the self-stroking.)

It was very preoccupied, and most of the time, seemed bored.

I realized I was wrong.

It is very human.

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Chameleon

Chameleon: (n) a small lizard which changes color to match its environment

Did you ever wonder if a bunch of chameleons sit around out in front of Wal-mart, talking away, and one turns to the other and mentions a mutual chameleon friend they have named Bob.

“Bob’s a real human. Always farting in small, enclosed spaces and insisting it wasn’t him. Of course, those humans can’t change colors and disguise their activities.”

 

 

 

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Brilliant

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Brilliant: (adj): very bright and radiant.

In deference to my human weakness, I have certainly downgraded some things.Dictionary B

My needed fifteen minutes of aerobic workout every day is now about four-and-a-half minutes. I literally don’t have the heart to do more.

My 1,500-calorie-a-day diet is open to the idea of 2,000.

And my decision to keep better tabs on my overall health is desperately in need of an overhaul.

In like manner, I’ve begun to use the word “brilliant” a whole bunch. Matter of fact, it’s become my default term whenever I run across anyone who’s willing to venture an opinion and take the risk of the criticism of others, or the possibility of failure.

I understand that “brilliant” used to be reserved for concepts which had weathered the storm of practical application and had come out the other end fulfilling requiremernts. But honestly, it takes a lot of courage nowadays just to experiment instead of standing on the sideline sneering at those who do.

We’ve become a nation of “judgers,” quickly losing anything to evaluate because no one is willing to train to become a participant. If they do, we are so certain of our expertise that we riddle them with bullets of complaints, dragging their depressed egos into shallow graves for internment.

It has become brilliant just to be willing.

It is brilliant to believe things can be better

And it is most brilliant to be prepared to be part of the solution.

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Brace

j-r-practix-with-border-2

Brace: (v) to get ready for something difficult or unpleasant

“I’m not alone.”

This statement is the essence of human sanity.

Being alone makes us lonely.

Lonely causes us to think we’re insignificant.Dictionary B

A feeling of insignificance makes us believe our contribution is meaningless.

I am not meaningless.

But I must understand that common sense, compassion, tenderness, fellowship and faith are often isolated on islands, separated from the mainland by cynical thinking.

Brace yourself.

  • You need to be prepared to be considered an outsider if you’re going to bring anything of value inside.

Brace yourself.

  • People are not going to naturally be kind, but instead, are motivated in a mob mentality, to pursue such wisdom.

Brace yourself.

  • What is passed off as logic is often, within a few short months, considered to be harmful and rejected for its ridiculous premise.

Brace yourself.

  • Look for things that are everlasting, and pursue them with vigor.

Brace yourself.

  • If you aren’t considered a little weird, then there’s no reason for you to be in the game.

Brace yourself.

  • Loving your neighbor may be considered to be unnecessary, irrelevant and unrealistic.

It is time for people who do not view themselves as good, but who desire to pursue good … to do good things.

 

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Bodily

Bodily: (adj) of or concerning the body.

Dictionary B

Every piece of contradiction is held in place with a reverence to a little scrap of silliness that we’re frightened to abandon.

So in politics we accept lying because it is the silliness we believe holds the process together.

In entertainment, we talk about the “bottom line,” preaching the notion that the pieces of art we foster must make huge profits–otherwise they are not worthy of production.

Likewise, we lift high the silliness of “blind faith,” when it is our doubt that makes our spiritual experience rich with discovery and hope.

And finally, this certainly is true when we talk about bodily functions.

Everybody craps, pisses, farts, screws, sweats, stinks and has aches and pains.

But rather than finding the great commonality which might remove a lion’s share of foolish bigotry, we whisper about these bodily similarities for fear of offending those who somehow believe that the One who created us would find such talk “nasty.”

I have nothing against appropriate dialogue in given surroundings.

But as long as we are afraid of our bodies, we will generate a cloud of deceit to hide our human essence.

 

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Big-Mouth

Big-mouth: (n) an indiscreet or boastful person.

Dictionary B

Every human carries around a burden of ignorance which normally can be hidden from view–unless we foolishly expose it.

As yesterday’s word was “big-head,” a condition of having an over-inflated sense of importance which seemingly expands the cranium, possessing a big mouth is the public address system which advertises the brain drain.

I’ve never known anyone with a big mouth who actually knows what they’re talking about.

Because once you discover how much knowledge is available, you are immediately humbled by how little you presently possess. It warrants silence–at least in intervals where surety is unavailable.

But not with a big-mouth. A big-mouth not only is aware of all circumstances, but has taken the time to draw conclusions for you as to how you should feel in any given situation.

  • I have been a big-mouth.
  • I have been a person espousing more credential than I actually achieved.
  • I have been so certain about a piece of information that my fall from the lofty rafters of opinion was nearly fatal.

The easiest definition of wisdom may be, “to study to show yourself approved” … and then wait for someone to coerce the information out of you.

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Be

Be: (v) to exist.Dictionary B

Since we all exist because our parents got horny, we may want to come along and glamorize the story a little bit. Otherwise, we occasionally are overwhelmed by the futility of life, and may even wonder why we were born in the first place.

This demands a certain amount of arrogance.

Since having a baby is so easy that even dumb people accomplish it, we can’t exactly stomp around and claim that we are part of some sort of cosmic eruption or heavenly proclamation.

Finding a “be” is what is necessary to make us content.

And without contentment, we stop being happy, which makes us annoying and causes other people to wish we’d never been born,

I’m not quite sure which is worse–is it my self-doubt concerning my value, or whether everyone around me doubts my value?

So how do you find your be in a C minus world?

How do you discover how to translate a collision of chromosomes into a beautiful, chromatic, climbing scale of living glory?

1. Never think you’re better than anyone else.

Since we all came from an egg, we should all work on being “good eggs.”

2. Don’t be satisfied with your talent.

Use it and multiply it. Otherwise, you’ll wonder why people don’t appreciate you for doing the same thing you did last year.

3. Be aware.

There is nothing sexier or more powerful, intelligent, profitable and viable than noticing what’s going on around you.

If you take these three things and put them into practice, then you have a chance to not only live a blessed life … but to be instead of not to be.

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Bane

Bane: (n) a cause of great distress or annoyance.Dictionary B

I am human.

I have a heart which is basically a series of scattered emotions, which do not necessarily steer me in the right direction.

I believe I have a soul, even though I am certainly not truly spiritual.

I have a mind, which too often is cluttered with memories and training rather than expansive and elastic for new ideas.

And I have a strength–a body–which in my case is burdened with poundage.

Knowing the bane of my existence in all four of these areas allows me to maintain both humility and a passion for intelligent self-improvement.

So the bane of my efforts in my heart is thinking that because I feel it, it must be real. Actually, if I feel it, it’s important to find out why I feel it and why it is possibly not real.

The bane of my soul is that I am asked to believe spiritual things which are irrelevant to my actual journey, while discovering how powerful I truly can be.

The bane of my brain is that it’s insane. It is trapped in repetition and must be taken out of that cycle in order to make progress straightly.

And the next thing I eat needs to have the good taste of flavor and the good sense of nutrition or the bane of my strength will be weakness.

If we do not recognize the bane, we begin to deceive ourselves that the way we are will satisfy our needs.

Without being challenged, our arms become too short and our legs lay limp.

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Aureole

Aureole: (n) a circle of light or brightness surrounding something, especially as depicted in art around the head or body of a person represented as holy.

I will freely admit to you that I have no scientific backing for my conclusions. These findings of mine are solely based upon years and years of observation of dictionary with letter Ahuman behavior.

There are three things that people will not accept from other folks:

  1. Arrogance.

We may even temporarily concede that certain people are “talented enough” that they have the right to be prideful, but we are simultaneously privately hoping they stumble and fall.

  1. Intolerance.

Even though we accept a certain amount of this nasty stuff in ourselves, we will not permit others to express this kind of fussiness and closed-minded approach with the world around them.

  1. Making the same dumb mistakes over and over again.

How many times can you say “I’m sorry” before people start hearing, “I’m pathetic”?

I bring these up to you because the Medieval artists began to place halos and aureoles around the heads of saints and angels–and especially Jesus of Nazareth.

I assume they felt this was an offering of respect for their good deeds or divinity.

But in the process they have taken a God who purposely became human and insisted that He be a human who was perfect–and a God.

It’s like turning to the Almighty and saying, “Your idea about becoming human like us was really stupid. We like people who wear hats that look like lightbulbs.”

I will tell you this–Jesus has no appeal to anybody when he’s proclaimed to be perfect.

  • We hate perfect people,
  • We plot their destruction.
  • We come up with pranks to make them look inept.

Likewise, Jesus does not have market when you insist he was a Jewish prophet for the Jewish people who was intolerant of Gentiles.

And Jesus does not have the ability to reach the world if his religion makes the same dumb mistakes over and over again that every religion has made.

So if you don’t mind, I would rather you remove the aureole from Jesus’ crown and have a more realistic representation.

How about a fly buzzing his head?

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Arboreal

dictionary with letter A

Arboreal: (adj) chiefly of animals living in trees.

Intellectualism often frightens me because it is willing to be stupid for the cause of alleged progress.

To me, one of the ways this shows up is the penchant that the intelligentsia often has in placing the human being into the animal kingdom.

Matter of fact, if you are of a mind to be ridiculed, just walk into a party at a university anywhere in America and suggest that human beings were created instead of spawned from the jungle, hanging in the trees.

Let’s just deal with the arboreal. I’m not even gonna discuss our lack of a tail, our superior intelligence and our deep-rooted emotional and spiritual capacity.

Setting all of that aside, I remember as a child the idea of climbing trees with my friends. It was never very successful. There was always one small child (who might have actually been ape-spawned) who could scurry right up the tree and look down at us mere mortals (yet human) who were standing on the ground, terrified to take the first step.

Most of the people I knew who tried to climb trees ended up with a broken something-or-other. I may be speaking out of school, here–literally–but I don’t think monkeys fall out of trees very often.

Humans, on the other hand, are far more likely to choose that descent.

So based just on tree-climbing ability, unless we have attributed that to the Missing Link, Homo Sapiens have neither the footing, the tail nor the grasp to achieve it very well.

One of my chimpanzee-like friends actually built a treehouse. The rest of us took about two weeks to get up into it, and eventually devised a ladder to acquire participation.

I think it’s good for us to study science, discovering as many different truths as possible. But we also must deal with the reality and the distinctions that exist between us and the animal kingdom.

Then, rather than mocking one another … we can celebrate the blessing of our uniqueness.

 

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