Alumnus

dictionary with letter A

Alumnus: (n) a graduate or former student, esp. male, of a particular school, college or university

I am an alumnus–even though my degree was not acquired through higher education, but rather, lower institutions of learning–by overcoming mediocre concerns.

I have learned.

  • I’ve had the benefit of competing with those who graduated from the University of Misunderstanding, whose main function is to cause trouble in life and disrupt the common good.
  • I have dealt with those from the College of Petty Jealousy–completely insecure about the training they received, confident that the best way for them to succeed is to intimidate others.
  • I certainly easily surpassed those from the Institute of Procrastination.
  • Quietly walked away from the competition posed by the Graduate School of Bitterness.
  • Found different ways to construct my future, rather than succumbing to the curriculum at the Technical School of Bigotry.
  • And even refused a scholarship from the Doctorate Program at Meanness.

I received my diploma from the Nothing Works Out Immediately University, with my major in Patience.

I am grateful for this training.

And it also makes class reunions much more pleasant.


Aloof

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Aloof: (adj.) not friendly or forthcoming

Stupidity always attempts to be clever, but lacks either the pedigree or the intelligence to pull off the act.

Aren’t you glad? Otherwise, stupid ideas could slide into place under the guise of being cool and wise, and overtake our better sensibilities.

But be careful–stupidity will try.

That’s the case with the word “aloof.” Whenever I hear the word used, it is generally preceded by an additional word: remaining.

Yes, the advice you often receive is to “remain aloof.”

You see the trick? Stupidity is trying to step in and convince us that our best profile as human beings is to act like we don’t care–and on top of that, to select that posture as often as feasible.

Here’s the truth: human beings are not naturally aloof. We are taught to do that. We are practically browbeaten into being suspicious, worried and frantic.

Naturally, we are gregarious.

After all, there are only two kinds of kids on the playground: those who are feverishly playing, and those who feverishly want to play. There are no children who want to “remain aloof.”

“Aloof” is the ridiculous contention that by standing in the shadows or perching ourselves on the bench, we will be able to criticize the other players in life simply because we are better than they are–and after all, we didn’t even participate.

Aloof comes in many forms:

  • “Doing your own thing”
  • “I was just being myself”
  • “Our group has more opportunities”
  • “We don’t agree with those folks”
  • “They don’t seem to like us, so we ignore them”

But I will tell you–“aloof” is always the fire-starter for all bigotry. It tells us that we have the right to separate ourselves off from all the other human tribes and offer our opinion … without giving our support.


Albino

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Albino: (n) a person or animal having a congenital absence of pigment in the skin and hair (which are white) and the eyes (which are typically pink).

Yes, it would certainly be one of the more difficult jobs–being hired on as an albino Dean of Students at an African-American college.

Even if your heart was in the right place, your total whiteness might be a constant reminder to the students of former indignities and ongoing indiscretions.

How would you approach that job?

First of all, it would be a little difficult to get hired. I mean, your qualifications would have to be over the top–so much so that the trustees of the university would be compelled to accept you, or face legal action for discrimination.

(That would be a touchy case, right? “Southern Black University Taken to Court by Albino Professor for Bigotry)

Secondly, you’d have to have a reason for being there. Maybe it would be a compelling notion that your obvious difference would bring greater discussion about race relations to the forefront.

It would be good to have a sense of humor, don’t you think? You certainly wouldn’t want to walk around acting like you didn’t know you were really, really, really white…

How about a talent? Juggling or harmonica would certainly be beneficial.

Yes, being an albino, working in an African-American college, would immediately beg some questions.

So even though nowadays we pride ourselves on the progress we have made in race relations, gender roles and even sexual orientation, there’s always a new prejudice around the corner, which will baffle us because we fail to apply previous discovery to the present situation.

Yes, it’s difficult to remember, as you walk in to apply at your college, in front of your albino dean, that you once were forbidden to sit at a lunch counter.

Alabama

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Alabama: (n) a state in the southeastern U.S. on the Gulf of Mexico, capital Montgomery, statehood, Dec. 14, 1819.

A state of mind.

Even though I must tell you, having traveled all over this country, that there are nests of belief, custom, culture and theology that persist or flourish in their particular homeland, the hatchet job that has been done to our fifty states to promote causes, newspaper articles and political agendas is abominable.

Nowhere is this more evident to me than in the perception of Alabama.

I would be amiss if I merely portrayed the “sweet home” aspects of this particular state. Like every other principality which has ever existed on earth, it is riddled with mishaps, bad judgments and incoherent ideas being fostered as “normal.”

But to personify Alabama–or any part of the south–as the hotbed for bigotry, ignorance and inequality is not only short-sighted, but comes from a place of arrogance and a desire to limit the qualities that these dear folks can offer to our country in faith and hospitality.

Some of the worst memories I have of my journeys have been in the south–especially Alabama–and also some of the golden treasures of people and discovery have also been found within its borders.

Here’s the truth: people live where they were hatched, take the best parts of their surroundings and mingle them with tolerance and love to form a workable way of being. No matter where they abide, if they accept the portions of their culture which alienate them from the rest of the world, they have gone down a foolish path. But if they set aside childishness, they gain eternal perspective.

Prejudice was not born in the south. Long before slaves were brought to this country, there were slaves in Rome, Greece, Egypt, China and every corner of our globe. Those who were intelligent, historical and also spiritual learn to recognize the limitations of their upbringing in deference to the mercy that the God of our creation requires of His children.

I love Alabama. I love Massachusetts. I love California–not because of the history book or the spouting of their individual Chambers of Commerce. No, it’s because I have met people in each of these locations–and many others–who have overcome their ancestors to be born again … to newness of life.

 

Aground

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter AAground: (adj & adv) in reference to a ship running on or onto the bottom in shallow water.

Shallow.

There you go. Thus the problem.

We used to believe that “still waters run deep,” until we realized that the adage doesn’t apply to a generation of people who refuse to speak because of the vacuous nature of their thoughts.

I am not cynical of our time or particularly gloomy about our future. Yet I do not think it is the job of people who write articles or who are creatively bent toward sharing wisdom to always kiss the rear end of the person in front of them.

We just need to realize that we have created so much shallowness that we have run aground–and as you well know, when a boat runs aground, it can neither float nor can it sail from its perch.

So where have we run aground?

  1. By telling everybody they’re great, we’ve eliminated the word “great.”
  2. By electronically connecting ourselves to the world, we have emotionally disconnected ourselves from one another.
  3. We have replaced actions with speeches, thinking that merely stating our intentions is sufficient to prove our willingness.
  4. We foster the present bigotry as intelligent study, even though historically, every rejected piece of prejudice took a similar profile.
  5. We promote a war between men and women while simultaneously using sex to sell everything.
  6. We foolishly think there is a permanent solution to problems rather than a gradual revelation in our everyday reality.
  7. We value critique–one of the more useless human endeavors.
  8. We accept mediocrity, hoping that others will accept our rendition.
  9. We want to believe we are exceptional, even though every nationality that has pursued that particular philosophy has ended up being declared tyrants.
  10.  We think that problems can be solved corporately, when nothing ever happens in the human family without individuals repenting.

It’s really quite simple. When you take away personal responsibility, the need for humility and you add in the arrogance of uniqueness, you get people who have a common spiel–which they use to promote a nasty disdain.

Here’s the good news: for each one of these ten that we address and change, we can double our potential.

God is good because He doesn’t demand much change from human beingsfor mountains to move.

Afoot

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Afoot: (adv.) 1. in preparation or progress, happening or beginning to happen 2. on foot

  • It is illegal to sell your kidney, which is located in your own body, but it is perfectly legal to extract human tissue and throw it away through abortion.

Something’s afoot.

  • We are constantly complaining about the dullness of our youth while actively discussing the legalization of marijuana, to further dull them.

Something’s afoot.

  • We are justifiably enraged over the intransigent nature of politics in this country, as the political parties bring everything to a standstill, while simultaneously waving the flag and insisting on the power of the vote.

Something’s afoot.

  • We become teary-eyed and sentimental over our personal families, shrinking our vision of humanity, while people all over the world are being abused, murdered and stifled.

Something’s afoot.

  • We praise ourselves for progress in the realm of overcoming bigotry, while continually re-creating the sins of our fathers by generating a new prejudice against a weaker segment of our society.

Something’s afoot.

  • We self-righteously discuss the exceptional nature of the American dream and people while settling for mediocre choices, diminished leadership and a rejection of universal excellence.

Again–something’s afoot.

There are two major problems with a foot–if you’re not careful, it either ends up in your mouth or kicking your butt.

 

Ad nauseum

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Ad nauseum: (adv.) referring to something that has been done or repeated so often that it has become annoying or tiresome.

Perhaps it is overstated to say there are things which cause me to want to throw up. It IS a bit dramatic. But still, everyone reading this is aware of the sensation of feeling nauseous, and actually desiring to regurgitate to get it over with. There is a point when you’re sick, when getting the illness OUT of your being seems rather pleasant.

I, for one, have found several facets of our everyday life and social structure to be worthy of such expulsion. Might I give you a list?

1. Religion that is more concerned about religion than it is people. (Urp.)

2. Politicians who tout the importance of debate and never pass legislation to help anyone. (See me quickly run to the bathroom.)

3. Those people who preach the beauty of capitalism only because they’re getting richer and salting it away in a Cayman Island bank account. (Pepto-Bismol will not help.)

4. Individuals who insist they are no longer prejudiced as they perpetuate the bigotry of their parents into their everyday lives, only masking it slightly, as a subtle choice. (Where’s my bowl?)

5. Movies that are chock-full of fantasy or remakes of subjects that have been done so many times that the plots are threadbare. (Please shoot me and put me out of my misery.)

6. Piety in all of its forms–be it Christian, Muslim, Jew, Hindu, Scientology, Amish or Republican and Democrat. (Please just bring me some cold 7-Up and soda crackers)

I could make a longer list, but I think you get my point. What creates ad nauseum is when we continue to espouse ideas, beliefs or even platforms that offer no proof whatsoever as to their viability in human life. For some reason, we’re just supposed to bow our heads and mumble some words of consecration in honor of what is really a dead, stinky idea.

When you smell something rotten, it makes you sick. If you decide to hang around until the smell either becomes acceptable or you get used to it, it doesn’t mean that it stinks any less or that you’re not just as sick.

The best way to handle anything that upsets your stomach … is to stay away from it.

Across

Words from Dic(tionary)

by J. R. Practixdirtied by bigotry.

dictionary with letter A

Across: (adj.) 1.the motion of moving back and forth; e.g. I moved across the table  2. an expression of location; e.g. the store is across town.

I was trying to count it in my mind.

I think it’s about twenty-five. Yes, I have gone across this nation of the United States about twenty-five times in my life. Somebody asked me if I did all of this “jaunting” because I enjoy traveling.

Absolutely not.

I hate long drives. My butt gets tired sittin’ in my van–and how to stay regular on an irregular schedule has yet to be discovered by any mortal.

I was just never satisfied to believe what I hear.

Case in point: growing up in Ohio, I was taught that people in the south hated blacks. I was informed that folks who lived in California were all hippies. And New York City moved along so fast that if you stopped to catch your breath, you would probably get hit by a bus.

It’s just easy to sit at home and listen to all the tales about humanity and start thinking they’re part of your own experience instead of just rumors floating your way. That’s why we get the notion that “Asian people are good at math” and “Europeans make the best wine.”

Prejudice is not the by-product of an experience. It is the absence of one.

I wasn’t satisfied to listen to the tales of travelers who brought back THEIR rendition of the human race. I guess this is why I like the statement in the Bible where it says that “Jesus passed by.”

After all, you can’t sit your butt down in a carpenter’s shop in Nazareth and spout what you think about the world without going across the land to meet real people in their real situations. If Jesus hadn’t been itinerant, he would have been just another Jewish prophet instead of a friend to the world.

So when I went across this land to the south, I found out that people there didn’t hate blacks any more than folks in Cleveland.

  • Citizens of New York actually DO slow down–because honestly, there’s a lot of traffic jams.
  • And Bakersfield, California, has fewer hippies in it than any place in the world.

But you have to go there to find out. You won’t learn it on CNN or Fox News.

So perhaps my most joyous achievement is that I’ve gone across America, met her people and can truthfully tell you that I love them.

I can recommend getting your information from the horse’s mouth, instead of having it handed down to you from paws that just might be dirtied … by bigotry.

Accursed

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Accursed: (adj.) 1. under a curse 2. used to express strong dislike or anger towards

I guess that’s why they call it cursing–when you decide that people have made you so angry that you must quickly pronounce judgment on them by only using four-letter words.

I suppose I would have to ask myself if there really IS anything that’s “accursed.”  Is there really some idea or practice in the human family which is not only unmannerly, but worthy of total condemnation?

To be honest, I am tired to listening to curses being placed on human beings for the sins of the flesh. Oh, I know there are things that are gross, mean, deadly and despicable. But sins of the flesh tend to plague the human carcass. Are we better if we avoid them? Sure. Can we completely escape the hold they have on our beings? Not so sure.

So every time we isolate some human being and freeze him or her in their moment of stupidity, trying to draw a conclusion about their entire personage based on a single act or even a series of repetitive functions, we really are placing a curse, which might have a rubber band effect, and fly back in our face the next time WE are equally as foolish.

So I’m not so sure I want to curse people because they have selected personal choices that I do not necessarily adhere to in my own life. No, I think if a curse comes upon any human spirit, it is due to the ridiculous notion that we gain superiority simply because we are something that someone else isn’t, were raised in a place where they weren’t, or retain a color that we deem preferable.

I guess you would call those sins of the heart–those fallacious notions that crop into our minds, which we DO have control over, but rather than chasing them out the back door, we entertain them in the parlor of our brain.

The only “cursed” thing about human beings is when any one of us tries to promote or express superiority. Not only is it absolutely hilarious because we will quickly disprove our premise of being superior, but also, the nastiness of making someone else appear to be small just to increase our own circumference of influence, is probably the definition of evil.

For after all, in order to murder someone you have to convince yourself that they must go and you must stay.

There’s the entire personification of the problem.

So what do I curse?

  • Self-righteousness.
  • Racism.
  • Bigotry.
  • Over-zealous nationalism.
  • Prejudice.
  • Arrogance.
  • Non-repentant values.
  • Anything that makes us believe that somehow or another, we arrived here in the perfect package and everyone else is damaged goods.

Hopefully I will never curse you because you do something different with your body parts than I do.

But I will confront you every time you think that you’re better than anyone else.

Abo

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter AAbo: AUSTRAL, INFORMAL, OFFENSIVE 1. n. an Aborigine. 2. adj. Aboriginal.

Words.

Sometimes we think if we make them “cuter” they don’t sound quite as mean. You always have the standard insults–the really nasty words which communicate anger, frustration, bigotry and rage.

But sometimes we like to just communicate that we’re better than other people in a merely condescending tone. So normally at that point we fall back on words that end in “o.” It sweetens them up enough that people can’t become TOO offended, but at the same time, we can still establish our supremacy.

I think that’s what abo is. If you live in Australia, you don’t want to completely attack the natives by referring to their skin color or the size of their lips or nose, so you come up with a “cute” put-down, like abo.

Of course, there are many others:
How about weirdo? If you tell somebody he’s a weirdo and then you smile afterwards, you can be sure they are stung by your criticism without any real ability to strike back in anger.
Same thing would be true of retardo.
In the sixties, Negro. We all know what the good ole’ Southern boys wanted to say.
How about this one–el stupido? (Now you’re showing off that you know another language.)
And of course, a favorite one–fatso. At least you aren’t using that “Fat A” word, right?

The most dangerous part of bigotry is when it becomes common and develops respectable language. So I don’t know what the purpose is of the “o” at the end of the insult. Maybe it’s not an “o.” Maybe it’s a zero–to connote the IQ of the speaker.

Yet, I imagine even in Nazi Germany, at first somebody called them “Jew-os”–long before they marched them to the gas chamber.