Tag Archives: children

Anvil

dictionary with letter A

Anvil: (n) a heavy steel or iron block with a flat top and concave sides, and typically a pointed end on which metals can be hammered and shaped.

I took a long moment to think this one through.

I like things that make me think because thinking is admitting that you don’t know and you aren’t afraid to learn if any information is actually available.

Here’s what I came up with:

You’ve got one big piece of metal in your hand in the shape of a hammer that’s hitting another piece of metal really hard to put it in shape, while a very sturdy piece of metal beneath it withstands the blows and remains firm so as not to inhibit the shaping of the object.

They’re all metal.

Some of them just have to be stronger than the others to sustain the pressure.

I know that appears to be too philosophical, but if you pause for a moment, it really isn’t. It’s just practical.

For a brief season, we have children who are brought into this world and must be molded, guided and shaped into human beings. I must warn you, they do not arrive human, but rather, as self-centered, egotistical, overly intelligent little monkeys who need to be removed from their jungle environment and taught the ways of true humanity.

There’s a lot of debate today on whether there’s some hitting and beating needed in that process.

Let us agree on the following four points:

1. There are moments in raising a child when you are well prepared to kill them, and if you got the right jury, who had also parented, you might get off for time served.

2. Since the sensation is common to us all, what sets us apart from those who end up damaging their children instead of helping them is what we might call “holy restraint.”

3. Holy restraint is not achieved without pursuing something holy. To do that means you need to invest your brain more than your brawn. The advantage we have over children is that they’re just not as smart as we are yet. And the second advantage is that we control the macaroni and cheese.

4. A child who learns is like a piece of steel that is squeezed between the hammer and the anvil. Since both of them are stronger, he or she will eventually find a reason to comply.

Now, I realize the analogy doesn’t work well because the hammer actually hits the steel against the anvil. But since our children are made of flesh and blood instead of iron and alloys, it might be a good idea to adjust the strength projected to the object addressed.

As flesh and blood, they need wisdom and guidance from people who know how to outsmart them.

Parenting is more about trickery than it ever is … about spanking.

 

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Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

Anesthesia

dictionary with letter A

Anesthesia: (n.) drugs or gases designed to create insensitivity to pain prior to surgical procedure.

It occurred to me while standing in the breakfast aisle at the local supermarket.

In previous years, I complained about going shopping and having rude little children point, giggle and laugh at me simply because I was a fat man.

On this day, what crossed my mind, standing next to the Honey Nut Cheerios, was that I couldn’t remember the last time that I had such a confrontation with a little one in the marketplace. I wondered if it was because our children had gained a new sensitivity and had ceased to mock unusual people.

Without being too cynical, I seriously doubt that. There is certainly as much prejudice around today as in any other time.

So it baffled me a little bit.

But then I realized–the secret to this absence of ridicule did not lie in the children, but rather in me.

  • I had stopped looking for the pain.
  • I had ceased to probe the room for disapproval or listen for the slightest chuckle.
  • I had learned to go about my business.
  • I had accepted the great anesthesia of confidence and peace of mind, to free me from the need to be pricked and probed until I screamed out in displeasure.

Maybe the kids are still laughing. But I am dull to their critique.

Maybe when I come zooming by, they poke each other, point and giggle at me. But I am already gone.

The glory of anesthesia is that necessary surgery can be done to our bodies without us fighting the treatment.

May God give me the anesthesia of soul satisfaction so the surgery that He needs to continue to do to my heart … will be painless and profitable.

 

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Allowance

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Allowance: (n) a sum of money paid regularly to a person

I had to get out my educated pencil. (I am often glad that my writing tool sought higher education, since I didn’t.)

Having an educated instrument, I can take my meager abilities in mathematics and join with this smart pencil and come up with some fascinating figures.

Case in point: when I was eleven years old, my father reluctantly gave me twenty-five cents a week for allowance. Actually, he held a quarter out in front of me and always offered at least two or three regrets and four or five warnings about the value of money and how important it was to spend it wisely.

But you must realize, this was at a time when twenty-five cents would buy you five candy bars.

This was my allowance.

In comparison, when I lived in Hendersonville, Tennessee, with my children, I gave each one of them fifteen dollars a week. Making use of my magical pencil of intellect, I realize that this was very similar to the quarter I received when I was eleven. For now a decent candy bar at a convenience store can cost upwards to $1.50 to $2.00, and everything else is equally as inflated.

So which is better? To have a little bit of money with lots of possibilities, or have a lot of money with little possibility?

I also recall that by the time I reached my sixteenth birthday and wanted to go out on a date with a girl, my dad, who was now ailing from cancer, proudly handed me over a five-dollar bill for my first date. Similarly, when one of my young men in high school was going to be taking out a lady, it was necessary for me to give him three ten-dollar bills, which he still grumbled at, saying that he would have to really scrimp for dinner.

I know that the root word of “allowance” is “allow.” But even as a grown-up, I am learning that it is possible to simplify your finance even in the midst of raging increases. You don’t have to feel like you’re cheating yourself. Just “pass” on opportunities that don’t give you the payoff you desire.

For instance, when the alarming transition occurred and candy bars went from a nickel to a dime, I had to negotiate my purchases much more carefully, while waiting for the eventuality that my parents would catch on … and pop me up to fifty cents.

 

Alimony

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Alimony: (n) a husband or wife’s court-ordered provision for a spouse after a divorce.

It comes down to discovering when it is permissible to be emotional. I personally think it is good to be emotional about spiritual things:

  • Loving your neighbor as yourself.
  • Feeling compassion for those in need.
  • And getting more juiced up about singing the praises of life instead of droning out a dull hymn.

On the other hand, when it comes to matters of the heart, I think running our lives solely on emotional data is very dangerous. Basically, the typical American marriage runs in three phases:

  1. You are so hot I can’t keep my hands off you.
  2.  It’s been a while since we’ve been hot–maybe we should get our hands on each other.
  3. Hands off.

The reason this happens is because we don’t take into consideration the many aspects of marriage other than sexual ecstacy. Let me tell you what I think the four things are that make up a good marriage, and how I believe each one is perfectly balanced by keeping an eye on the others.

1. Sex. Actually, I think it should be in fourth place, because it turns out that it’s better after the other three have been enacted with fervor. But I’ll keep it at the top of the list to keep your interest in my article.

2. Finance. Partnering with someone else is often a good way to stay solvent. If not, you have to start doing things like paying child support, alimony and lawyers to be your mouthpiece.

3. Status. Our society is set up for people to be together, work together, plan together and even interact fiscally in pairs.

4. Children. Once you give up on a marriage, whether you like it or not, the earthquake sends aftershocks through the entire family. You can fake it, act mature, and present yourselves as upbeat individuals who can maintain two or three different lives, but even though divorce and child custody are practiced in our society, our art and entertainment more truthfully portray them as implausible.

If two intelligent people will figure out a way to hold things together because of the children, consider the status they have by being united, garner the potential of the second income, and then take a bit of giddiness from the three discoveries into the bedroom, you might be surprised how many people could stay together, instead of chasing the dream of new genitalia.

Yes, being adult is considering the plus and the minus in every situation, and discovering a great compromise. Short of abuse or neglect, marriage can avoid alimony by appreciating what we’ve got and working with it, knowing that just like the seasons … hot and cold come in their time.

Al fresco

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Al fresco: (adj) in the open air: e.g. an al fresco luncheon.

Much as I enjoy the arrival of spring with the promise of coming summer, and the warmth of that experience, I also become fully aware that I am about to be inundated by many different individuals who want to take advantage of the beauty of the season … to do everything outside.

Especially difficult for me is when they suggest that I take my sound equipment and music and array it on some sort of makeshift flat-bed trailer to perform in a park situation, surrounded by so many distractions that it’s nearly impossible to get the attention of a dead squirrel.

Let me tell you what bothers me about it:

1. Good sound needs walls. Otherwise it floats out and joins with other distracting molecules and becomes distorted or dispelled.

2. Even though I work very hard to be interesting, birds and trees, supersonic jets flying overhead and children briskly running and tripping to fall and scrape their noses do tend the eliminate the possibility of an ongoing attention span.

3. Bugs. If you are a normal person who showers, uses deodorant, or God forbid, aftershave, bugs seem to approach you as if you were a saloon and they are determined to get drunk on your elixir. I’ve had them fly in my mouth, buzz my bald head and perch themselves inside my ear.

I think I’ve just described the definition of “distracting.”

It happened to me recently when some friends invited me out to dinner, and asked if I wanted to sit at a table near the lake. It was a beautiful evening, about 6:15 P.M., and apparently the exact time when the local bees come out for an evening fellowship and what appeared to be church service. They huddled together, gathering around our food, and at times it appeared they were saying grace for the bounty set before them.

We eventually (being more intelligent than the buzzers) found ways to cover up our food, our bodies and the surrounding table with napkins, plates–and I think one lady used a scarf. It was not exactly what I would call a favorable dining experience.

I think going camping is an al fresco event. When you do so, you plan on roughing it, taking on nature and trying to get away from the delicacies of life.

But every other time you go al fresco, you must realize that it’s going to turn out to be a campout–and as soon as you arrive outside, you have departed your home … and entered Nature’s back yard. 

Akin

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Akin: (adj) of similar character: e.g. genius and madness are akin.

One of my favorite quotations from the Good Book is: “Wisdom is justified by all her children.”

What that means to me is that great ideas, noble causes and desirable notions are not always spawned from altars and pulpits.

Wisdom bears children which point to certain parents. What is the mother and father of great wisdom? What is akin to divine understanding?

I’ve discovered there are three great uncles who let me know when I am in the presence of lasting promises and golden principles. Everything akin to these three entities is worthy of our time and eternal in prospect:

1. Nothing is going to happen without me.

Every time someone tries to convince me that good things can occur without human involvement, I quietly slip out of the room to avoid the pending disaster.

2. It’s not about what I deserve.

Actually, what I deserve is not relevant. If it were balanced, I would also have to accept the times when I deserve punishment and instead am granted grace. The word “deserve” should be eliminated from the English language and replaced with “get.”

3. Nothing acceptable is accepted until it is rejected and continues to insist on being accepted.

Please understand, I do not think human beings are devoid of intelligence, but our intelligence suffers from blindness. We seem incapable of catching a vision for anything that isn’t immediately in the spectrum of our present doings.

So when I run across anything that submits to, aligns with or honors these three ideas, I realize I just may be sitting in the presence of greatness … because greatness is always the blending of need, sensitivity and curiosity.

 

AK-47

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

AK-47: (n) a type of assault rifle, originally manufactured in the Soviet Union.

It’s a big gun. That’s what I know.

I’ve never fired one of those. I have used a shotgun. That was pretty impressive.

Impressive… What do I mean by that?

I think guns are fascinating. Otherwise we wouldn’t want to play with them as children. After all, nobody wants a squirt-monkey or a squirt-hose. No, it’s a squirt-gun.

Being able to point something at somebody and dispel ammunition–even if it’s just water–is pretty thrilling. But you see, that’s the problem.

Somewhere along the line–at about the age of eleven or twelve–the bullets change from H2O to a helluva lot more deadly.

When would I want a gun?

  • If I were in the wilderness and a bear was getting ready to attack me, I think I would rather have a gun than a bow and arrow.
  • I guess if I was trapped on a desert island and was trying to track down game, using a bullet might be more effective than setting traps or throwing rocks.
  • I think if we’re going to insist on having wars, we should give our soldiers weapons to match the enemy’s, or be prepared to be enslaved by being “out-gunned.”

But I just don’t believe that guns are the answer to everything. It’s like so many other things in our society–the solutions we come up with seem to create their own dilemmas instead of alleviating conflict.

Putting a gun into the hands of a common man who, at this moment, is rational, does not mean that this person will be logical under the influence of alcohol, anger, frustration, or just dumb stupidity.

I guess what bothers me is the idea that law-abiding citizens require guns to protect themselves from non-law-abiding citizens. It begs the questions:

  1. When should I pull a trigger and release a missile of death to terminate the life of another human being?
  2. Should I do it because they have entered my home to steal from me?
  3. Should I shoot them because they are walking on my sidewalk, speaking threats in the direction of my domicile?
  4. In my frivolous and often unpredictable nature, should I be trusted to decide who lives or dies simply because I have a weapon to determine the outcome?
  5. Or are all these questions moot–because we have a Constitution that allows us to be “gun-toting,” so that’s all the justification we need?

There’s no doubt–guns are cool. I would be greatly fascinated to look at someone’s gun collection. I just wonder how we can determine how these weapons are used, or … how we can trust one another to make that decision.

 

Agriculture

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter AAgriculture: (n) the science or practice of farming, including cultivation of soil for growing of crops and rearing animals to provide food, wool and other products.

“The good old days.”

I am not a proponent of such foolishness. I realize that the good old days were the bad new ways for the former good old days.

Old people pine for the past because that’s when they felt young and virile. It has no conscience for the morality, prejudice or lack of scientific development that may have existed.

But I will say aloud that we have lost something in our culture by moving from an agrarian society (agriculture) to one of manufacturing and now, basically confined to service.

Matter of fact, last year when I was sending little gifts to my grandson, I included, with one of my five dollar bills, a request that he take his daddy out to a store and buy tomato seeds, go into their back yard and plant the little miracles in the ground and see what happens.

Of all the tasks I gave him to accomplish with a donation attached, this one probably was the most memorable.

First of all, he was astonished at how quickly the tomatoes grew. But then he was shocked by how all these little bugs came along and decided they wanted to eat up his tomatoes before he got the chance to pick ’em.

This young man, who is growing up in an urban area, was suddenly treated to the wonders of rural life–and also to a life lesson of planting, nurturing, growing, protecting and harvesting.

I think we have forgotten where things come from. Because of this, we are demanding instead of being more cautious about our requests because we have good comprehension about the amount of work it takes to acquire blessing.

When I was a kid my father grew strawberries. I thought it was a great idea because I loved to eat strawberries. What I failed to understand was the season that the magical fruit units required for growing–and then, because the vines are so close to the ground, the need to get down on your hands and knees to pick them.

I not only gained a greater appreciation for the strawberry itself, but was also more reverent in my consumption, knowing that every pint I ate would take another twenty minutes of my life to regain.

In some form, if we’re going to continue to be a society that has relegated farming to a chosen few, we will need to teach our children the earth process that goes into making something beautiful … from the seed of an idea.

Agonize

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Agonize: (v) to undergo great mental anguish through worrying about something.

Really?

I’m sorry. I always try to empathize with my fellow-men and women, but sometimes the causes and circumstances that promote frustration and agonizing concern just escape me.

Early on in my life I came up with a simple principle:

There is only one day which is totally beyond my control: the day I die. And all the imitators of that experience can be dodged, as if they were bullets.

There you go.

It reminds me of the words of Jesus when he told his friends, the disciples, that their buddy, Lazarus, was sick but that he wasn’t going to die.

The truth is, he did die.

But traveling to see him, to prepare for a resurrection, it would have been of little use to weep, fuss and agonize over his temporary termination. So Jesus told them it was “all cool.”

Now, I’m not talking about an optimistic attitude, which is often devoid of needed reality and focus. (In other words, people who always “look on the bright side of life” can be quickly dimmed by a single rain cloud.) But it is a needed perspective.

There are three forces that will work for us if we are aware of our own surroundings:

1. Mother Nature. She just has a way of doing things, and if you learn her ways, you’ve got the first four digits of the “pick six” in the lottery.

2. Fellow humans. Contrary to most of the television programs, the vast majority of humanity does not consist of pimps, thieves and serial killers. People actually do help more often than not.

3. God. God has no reason to do anything but support his children. The only thing we have to remember is, this grace is bestowed to the humble.

Agonize if you want–but I will save that single moment of uncontrollable worry for my own death, and fight it off … until it’s absolutely mandatory.

Age of Consent

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Age of consent: (n) the age at which a person’s, particularly a girl’s, consent to sexual intercourse is valid by law.

I am thoroughly convinced that a conservative philosophy would work beautifully if those who pursued it were actually faithful.

Likewise, I have no doubt that a liberal agenda would be equally as positive if the people adhering to its tenets would not swerve from their conviction.

The problem is inconsistency–and nowhere does this show up in our society any more than in our dealings with our children–and especially with our teenagers. Let me give you an example.

Teenagers are supposed to have the wisdom to study for school, take care of their lockers, drive a car, decide what college they want to go to, study for the SAT, make good choices on not drinking alcohol or smoking cigarettes, and control their hormones.

Yet by the same token, we turn right around and say they are irresponsible, childish, silly, that their brains don’t fully develop until they’re twenty-five years of age, and that they are just as capable of lying as they are of breaking out in acne.

We have to make up our minds.

If our children are able to drive a car down the street, are they not also mature enough to make decisions about their own sexuality?

We don’t want our children to be drug dependent, while simultaneously living in a society that has a free flow of alcohol and is discussing legalizing marijuana–to further deaden their personalities.

They can’t drink until they’re twenty-one, yet in every movie or television show, we see high school students freely consuming alcohol products, as if they just stopped off at the local party store and picked up a bunch.

Somewhere along the line, we need to get a handle on what we really believe the young humans are capable of achieving and what we think they aren’t.

I firmly believe that the teenagers who came through my house were capable of doing anything at all–as long as they were adequately motivated and supervised. I believe they were nearly worthless if left to their own initiative.

I don’t know whether that is a positive or a negative–it’s just my finding. To me, young humans are very similar to guns. In the hands of the right individual, who is responsible and willing to point the implement in the correct direction, there can possibly be a powerful use. But guns left lying around will always fall into the wrong hands.

Such is the case with the teenager.

So it is time for our society to realize that when puberty is striking people at the age of twelve or thirteen, to ask these individuals to withhold their urges for ten years in order to complete a college education is not only ridiculous, but may be the definition of impossible.

So what am I saying about the age of consent? I know we have to have a legal number so as to run our society in a prudent way–but I do think it is the duty of all parents to sit down with their children and candidly walk through the entire process of human sexuality–and let them know the consequences of all actions.

So what is the age of consent?

I really do not think human beings are able to consent to their own choice in sexuality until they have been taught what is destructive and what is valuable. For some folks, that means they probably shouldn’t kiss until they’re thirty. But for other kids, it could be much younger.

Our culture is desperately in need of some consistency. I welcome the concept of freedom … as long as it is intentionally and ferociously linked to responsibility.