Cyclothymia

Cyclothymia: (n) bipolar disorder characterized by instability of mood and a tendency to swing between mild euphorias and depressions.

Now you finally have an answer.

Whether you’re asking yourself or fielding an inquiry from someone else concerning why America is so screwed up, you can studiously present the diagnosis:

“It appears the entire nation is cyclothymic.”

We have fallen into a mood where we’re not certain how to feel about anything, so we often find ourselves laughing at absurd intervals and inexplicably weeping over seemingly nothing—so imbalanced that we have forgotten what has value and what is meaningless.

Therefore, many times we find ourselves crying buckets over public service announcements concerning the mistreatment of dogs in kennels, while we can’t come up with the solution for protecting our children from gun violence in school—even when their bodies are stacked next to the monkey bars on the playground.

We become offended by the deaths of unborn children, while we’re seemingly untouched by starving, abused and caged young humans all over the world—even at our own border.

We will mourn over our religion and never shed a tear for the human beings it is poised to serve.

Since we have no control over our emotions and they are liable to sprout at bizarre intervals, we become aggravated with one another for being maudlin or failing to care enough for something that should be deemed tragic.

Even as we lament climate change, we’re angry at humans for the dilemma, never realizing that the reason for preventing planet destruction is to bless and honor our fellow Earthlings.

Insanity is any time we insist that what we hold to be important and essential should be universally accepted as holy.

Some people just don’t bow their heads when they see a cross.

And other folks don’t wince and blink back tears when a dog is scrounging in the wilderness.

It will take a concerted effort for us to once again be able to come up with a clear vision for what is truly significant.

But we might start with: Is it hurting others?

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Crumb

Crumb: (n) a small particle of bread, cake, etc., that has broken off.

Mrs. Venetti was old.

This is the nicest thing I can say about her.

She was sure of herself.

Having become so assured of her own perfection, she launched out, attempting to perfect the world around her.

I knew her because, for some reason or another, my parents insisted I call her “Aunt,” even though we were not related. (I later discovered that she had money and my parents were intrigued by it.)

So this woman, who had the answer for every problem and an extra problem or two available if you were lacking, quickly made the decision that she did not like me.

She had an organ in her home that I enjoyed playing–until she heard my rocking and rolling. She explained that the German technician who maintained it told her that my fingers were too fat and heavy and might damage it.

Organ-less.

Her house was perfect.

(What other kind of house would a perfect woman have?)

Only one time when I visited her (at the behest of my parents) did she offer me something to eat. It was a single cheese slice, wrapped in cellophane. Unfortunately, I peered at it too long before dismantling and eating it and she accused me of being ungrateful.

Cheese-less.

But she had a favorite word for me.

She loved to call me “crumb.”

She even had derivations.

Sometimes it was crumb.

Other times crummy.

When she was particularly perturbed, I was referred to as crumbum.

Along with the insult came a snarling at the lips, a look of superiority mingled with loveless pity. She always asked me to walk slowly through her house so as not to knock over knick-knacks with my heavy steps.

She was an unpleasant woman who had to be viewed as tolerable because she had money.

Although it’s been proclaimed that money can’t buy everything, the few things it doesn’t purchase don’t appear to be very popular.

She never liked me—and when I was young, it ate at the left corner of my soul, threatening to create a hole from which all my hope was prepared to drain.

Then one day, God—in his infinite wisdom and grace—gave this fat boy with chubby fingers and heavy feet a gift. Sitting in her living room, entertaining some friends, barely tolerating my presence, Mrs. Venetti suddenly farted.

And not only farted—she pooped her pants.

Everybody quickly rose to assist her, which increased her embarrassment, causing her to become livid, threatening everyone in sight.

I sat very still.

I knew I was going to need to laugh about this—but now was not the time. Yet I did not want to lose the reservoir of humor building up inside me.

So I remained motionless.

After everyone carefully lifted “Auntie” from her chair, which she had sullied, and taken her into the bathroom, I ran out the front door, down the street, around the corner…and laughed.

I did not do it very long because after a few moments, it seemed cruel.

But the first fifteen or sixteen cackles healed that left corner of my soul.

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C


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Confirmation

Confirmation: (n) the action of confirming something

Knowing that you’ve been perplexed and even perturbed by the uncertainty in our world, I offer to you the following confirmations:

  1. No one is better than anyone else. (You knew that when you were a little kid, but the adult journey has attacked your faith in the concept.)
  2. Men and women are equal, unless they act like boys and girls
  3. Arguing about religion is comical, since no one really knows one way or the other
  4. Since banks are reluctant to take a two-party check, we might want to check over our two party system
  5. Waiting for the end of the world prevents you from beginning.
  6. Losing weight is not the issue–trying to lose weight makes you healthier.
  7. No race has the best athletes. A race is just that–a sprint.
  8. There is no real substitute for cheese. Save up your calories.
  9. Laughing makes you child-like. Pouting makes you childish.
  10. If life isn’t easy, then work harder to make it easy.

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

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Commend

Commend: (v) to praise formally or officially.

A face that is not tired of still trying to offer a smile.

A childlike silliness, even when you aren’t with children.

A hope that opportunity will provide finance.

A notion that even though people try to be different, it’s more fun to discover how we’re the same.

Being satisfied with beans and wieners.

Trying a new recipe, blowing it, but still eating a little.

Having it cross your mind to say “I love you” and doing it instead of choking it back.

Noticing someone who’s lonely and simply touching their shoulder as you go by.

Giving a dollar–or maybe two–to the homeless without wondering what they’re going to do with it.

Choosing to take action instead of just praying.

Listening instead of quoting a scripture.

Laughing when it’s time to stop crying.

Giving without thinking.

Caring without worrying.

Living fully without requiring a heavenly reward.

These are some things I commend.

 

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Begin

Begin: (v) to start; to perform or undergo the first part of an action or activity.

Dictionary B

I will take all of my opinions and beliefs down to the River of Justice and wash away all the sins of stubbornness.

This is where I must begin.

It happens every minute of every day. Confronted by reality, I present my history, which often shows that I am behind the times and offers me a choice.

Do I cling to my tradition or do I embrace the fresh breath of spirit?

Where do I begin?

  • I begin with what’s true, not what seems comfortable.
  • I begin with what includes others, not placing myself in the position of separating sheep from goats.
  • I begin with what produces joy, instead of stimulating aggravation.
  • I begin by allowing hope to make a case instead of making my case over the issue of hope.
  • I begin by realizing that in the kingdom of life there is neither male nor female, just souls who are willing and those who are stone.
  • I begin by laughing, knowing that crying will soon be necessary.
  • I begin aware, pursuing awareness.
  • I begin with who I am, unashamed.
  • I begin with me, repentant.
  • I begin fresh … daily.

 

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Arbitrary

dictionary with letter A

Arbitrary: (adj) based on random choice or personal whim, rather than any reason or system.

When everything is considered important, nothing truly has value.

Half the time I don’t know whether to burst out laughing or cry as I watch the entanglement of emotions in our society, giving place to things, feelings and problems that really just don’t matter.

I am going to give you a list of those things which I find to be arbitrary, and therefore annoying and useless, generating a traffic jams in our human flow:

1. I don’t care if you’re Republican or Democrat. Pass a damn law.

2. I do not care that Kim Kardashian has a large butt. Perhaps some of it should be transferred to her cranium.

3. I do not care, on The Voice, if you have a family, children, a mother with cancer or are going through a financial hard time. I thought you wanted to be a singer, not a hard case. Shut up and sing.

4. I do not care about church doctrine. I want you to tell me better ways to “love my neighbor as myself.”

5. I certainly am appalled at the views some folks have of women, using religion to punish them, which creates a self-defeating environment where you soon will have nobody to romance.

6. I do not care to hear about every time a celebrity is in a bad mood. After all, since they have financial security, they should probably pursue a traditional form of gratitude to rectify their surly nature.

7. I don’t care if you’re black, white, red, yellow, brown, tan, rose, pink or any particular hue. I would just like you to be nicer.

8. I would like people who are caught in hypocrisy to admit that they were hit by a dumb stick instead of hitting me with a stick and acting like I am dumb for challenging them.

9. I would like to live in a world where truth is still honored and lying is considered to be a negative thing instead of a “natural” thing.

10. I would like the 24-hour news cycle to at least take a daily nap so they don’t have to embellish every little stupid thing that comes along.

And even though I am supposed to end at #10, I will do an 11th, which is:

11. I am tired of the spiritual, political and social correctness which promises the right of free speech, but only as long as you agree with the majority.

If we remain determined to make everything a story … there will soon be no true stories to tell.

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Alive

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

 

Alive: (adj.) living; not dead.

One of my favorite stories from the Good Book is the discourse between the angel sitting on the stone that had been rolled away from the tomb of Jesus with the women who had come to make him smell sweeter for burial.

The reason I like it so much is that it’s filled with attitude.The angel pipes off with a bit of verve, “Why do you seek the living among the dead?”

It’s really kind of bratty–especially since these ladies had just seen Jesus die, and were trying to be nice … with spice.

But the angel had insider information. Jesus was alive.

It’s powerful.

It’s so powerful that I am determined to only pursue situations in my time on earth that welcome being alive. How do we know when something is alive?

It’s hungry.

Yes, there is an appetite. A true sign of sickness is that the sight of food makes us throw up. And the evidence of indifference is when we no longer want to eat information to make us stronger.

Things that are alive are thirsty.

They need to replenish fluids because they’re constantly losing them. If they don’t, they dry up and blow away.

I believe being alive involves some manifestation of laughing.

Maybe it’s not always an outward giggle, but it is a sense of good cheer–that nothing is over until it’s over, so why discuss the premature death of anything?

But in like manner, to be alive requires crying.

If we don’t lament loss and acknowledge the absence, we will not have the sensibility to fill the vacuum.

You can tell something is still alive because it’s trying.

I once saw a bird fall from the sky, injured. But even though it was wounded, it continued to move, attempting to gain flight. It lifted from the ground with its one remaining wing, for a few feet successful, and then fell again. But eventually the bird made its way to a place of safety. It kept trying.

I meet individuals who consider themselves intellectual superiors because they have given up on the idea of human beings. I don’t argue with them. It’s ridiculous to debate with the deceased.

And finally, if something is alive, it’s growing.

I’ve been dealing with this in the past month. Just because I’m aging does not mean I can’t keep my muscles toned, my diet correct and my aspirations courageous. When we stop growing, we are bedding down for our death.

Look for things that are alive.

And stop seeking the living among the dead.