Baby

Baby: (n) a very young child, especially one newly or recently born.

I am personally co-responsible for the arrival of four babies onto Planet Earth.Dictionary B

So even though I would not consider myself an authority, I do walk with a bit more gravitas than the average twenty-something postulating on daytime talk shows.

Let me tell you some misconceptions about babies, and then I will tell you what I find to be a few abiding truths.

Let us begin with the misconceptions:

  1. Babies are cute.

The best way for me to dispel this myth is for me to say they are not meant to be cute because they aren’t ripe yet. A misshapen head, a funny curled lip, lack of eyebrows, and the fact that they insist on having you clean up their buttocks does take away a little bit from their overall beauty. (Not to mention that creepy spot on their head that moves back and forth when they breathe…)

  1. Babies are hard to take care of.

If you are one of those kinds of people who allow things to pile up on you, or only deals with things in your face, a baby can be a horror. But if you understand that this little kid has come into your world, and therefore needs to learn your system, it becomes much easier to handle their initial moods.

  1. Babies like it quiet.

Please don’t make your house quiet. A baby will adjust to whatever sound level is in the room, because all babies are human and therefore require sleep. Turn up the stereo and get them used to the din of life.

  1. Babies are born “a certain way.”

It is probably one of the more unfair things we do–to cast personality, talent and even intelligence on a creature that is still drooling.

  1. My baby loves me.

Not yet. Your baby still thinks it’s in the womb, where it sucked from everything in sight without ever offering one tittle of gratitude.

Now, how about some truths?

  1. You have a human being.
  2. This human being will pretty much become exactly what you want he or she to be.
  3. The child has not yet formed either virtue or prejudice.
  4. Do not allow your relatives to spoil the little tot because you will be the one dealing with the backlash.
  5. Keep them warm, loved, well-fed, changed and stop worrying about anything else.
  6. It’s a baby. You did not find the cure for cancer. Adding too much pride to the birth of your child is the dictionary definition of obnoxious.

I like babies.

Their simplicity, innocence and vulnerability remind me that God has not given up on the human race.

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

*******************

NEW BOOK RELEASE BY JONATHAN RICHARD CRING

WITHIN

A meeting place for folks who know they’re human

 $3.99 plus $2.00 S&H

$3.99 plus $2.00 Shipping & Handling

$3.99 plus $2.00 Shipping & Handling

Buy Now Button

 

Baboon

Baboon: (n) a large monkey with a long doglike snout and large teeth.Dictionary B

  • Science is what we’ve learned about God,
  • Spirituality is what science has yet to learn.

So when Darwin discovered a chain of events leading to an understanding of natural selection and evolution, rather than realizing it was a step in our understanding of the rolling out of the Universe, we made the ridiculous assumption that we had dislodged the pearl of great price.

Meanwhile, Darwin’s theory has been used by racists and white supremacists for years to explain the existence of the black race. For these people contend that our brothers and sisters with a darker hue to their skin are the Missing Link.

So in the midst of this consideration that the baboon and all the primate cousins are really our ancestors, we have arrogantly opened up the door to suppositions and conclusions which have never been proven to have any merit.

Here’s the truth of the matter: the human body is a mishmash of many species of animals.

It’s almost as if some sort of Creator went to the graveyard of the animal kingdom and scooped up the dust left over from their bodies and made human beings, setting them apart with a larger brain and a deeper sense of conscience.

Just because we find the poetry of the story to be too simplistic, the idea that we have closed the book on evolution/creation by studying Darwin’s assertions, is equally as juvenile.

  • We have learned much about God. It is called Science.
  • We have much more Science to learn. It is called God.

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

*******************

NEW BOOK RELEASE BY JONATHAN RICHARD CRING

WITHIN

A meeting place for folks who know they’re human

 $3.99 plus $2.00 S&H

$3.99 plus $2.00 Shipping & Handling

$3.99 plus $2.00 Shipping & Handling

Buy Now Button

 

Babel

Babel: (n) Also called Tower of Babel, a tower presumptuously intended to reach from earth to heaven

Get busy doing the work, or you’ll find yourself busy chasing foolishness.Dictionary B

That’s some sound advice. It does beg some questions: What is the work? And of course, what is foolishness?

There is an Old Testament story about a tower which was presumably built in an attempt to rendezvous with the heavens and have communion with God. The premise itself is absolutely ludicrous, as most human ploys seem to be when viewed over the distance of time.

But in the moment, it seemed noble.

It seemed regal.

Worse, it seemed righteous.

Human beings are a horrible lot when they become discontented with being human and instead, try to either become animals…or God.

We’re not allowed to just be animals. Our brain is too big for that.

We’re not allowed to be God. Our brain is too small for that.

So what is the work? In the story, God confounds their plans by offering them different languages, so that they had to learn to communicate with each other.

There you have it.

My only work on earth is to learn to communicate with other people.

  • It’s the way I make money.
  • It’s the way I make friends.
  • Hell, it’s even the way I make love.

My only foolishness is to avoid humans, over-love animals or over-worship God.

Aside from believing in God and using the principles of love which He has imparted to me to interact with my fellow-travelers, that “Father Who Art in Heaven” who has the “Hallowed Name” only becomes my concern when one day I breathe my last breath … and He is my new reality.

 

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

*******************

NEW BOOK RELEASE BY JONATHAN RICHARD CRING

WITHIN

A meeting place for folks who know they’re human

 $3.99 plus $2.00 S&H

$3.99 plus $2.00 Shipping & Handling

$3.99 plus $2.00 Shipping & Handling

Buy Now Button

 

Babe

Babe: (n) an affectionate form of address, typically for someone with whom one has a sexual or romantic relationship.

Perhaps unfortunately, there is no DUI for romance.Dictionary B

If you drive under the influence of alcohol, you can be arrested and cited for your actions. But in the heat of passion, when the hormones are pulsing, all of us are susceptible to doing various actions, performing weird functions and saying obtuse things with no embarrassment or punishment whatsoever.

I, for instance, have affectionately called a woman a “babe, my baby” or “sweetie-sweet.” Even as I transport these phrases into this article, I feel silly.

But in the heat of the moment, when I was trying to be sexy in my limited capacity, it seemed righteous.

Yet I can tell you, I do not know if we’ll ever achieve equality between the sexes as long as women are referred to as “babes.” Although I know it is meant to be affectionate, let us consider what the term implies:

  1. You don’t know how to talk–you gurgle.
  2. You drool a lot.
  3. You have stinky in your pants.
  4. You need help with almost everything you do.
  5. You’re only interesting when you do cute things.
  6. Don’t inconvenience me or wake me up in the middle of the night.
  7. I don’t trust you with anything I own because you might break it.

Well, I could go on and on. I don’t know whether a woman can be my confidante, partner and equal if I perceive her to be a newborn.

I am leering over her physical attributes much more than her mental acuity.

But it seems there’s nothing that will stop the onslaught of dopiness which pours from us… as we go through the festering need to mate.

 

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

*******************

NEW BOOK RELEASE BY JONATHAN RICHARD CRING

WITHIN

A meeting place for folks who know they’re human

 $3.99 plus $2.00 S&H

$3.99 plus $2.00 Shipping & Handling

$3.99 plus $2.00 Shipping & Handling

Buy Now Button

 

Babble

Babble: (v) to talk rapidly and continuously in a foolish, excited, or incomprehensible way.Dictionary B

I have always pridefully considered myself to be a good communicator. Of course, I am the worst judge of such a determination.

It really would have to be evaluated by others around me who fall victim to hearing my explanations and discourse.

But setting aside my ego, I will tell you that no matter how well you think you speak, your words will become mere babble if you don’t take three things into consideration:

  1. Am I sharing something from my heart that I know the person I’m speaking with definitely disagrees with?

It is unlikely that you will convince folks to change their minds through debate or conversation. Normally it just cements their position.

People change their minds when they become convinced they are uncool if they don’t.

  1. Never talk as long as you want to.

If you’re telling a story and you think it will run about three minutes, then you desperately need to develop a one-minute version.

Taking people’s attention span to the limit of their toleration is the best way to ensure that they will not tolerate you very long.

  1. Learn the power of silence gaps.

If you find that you have just rattled off two or three minutes worth of conversation about yourself, insert a “breath mint” of silence. Allow people to understand that you comprehend the value of speech, but also appreciate the solitude of being mute or even of listening.

If you include those three things into your interaction with others, you will never be considered a “babbler” … or have folks secretly roll their eyes when you walk into the room.

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

*******************

NEW BOOK RELEASE BY JONATHAN RICHARD CRING

WITHIN

A meeting place for folks who know they’re human

 $3.99 plus $2.00 S&H

$3.99 plus $2.00 Shipping & Handling

$3.99 plus $2.00 Shipping & Handling

Buy Now Button

 

Baa

Baa: (n) the cry of a sheep or lamb.

Jesus described human beings as sheep.dictionary with letter A

It really was not a compliment.

Of all the attributes of the common sheep, passivity would have to be the best possible option–and even that is not a chosen peacefulness, but rather, an unwillingness to get involved.

Sheep are easily swayed, controlled, pushed, shorn and devoured by wolves.

They like to play the role of the victim–so often they will cry out, “Baa,” to let you know that they have once again brought upon themselves a situation which has placed them at risk.

Jesus also made the point that they get lost easily. It is unlikely that this is caused by wanderlust or an intrigue for finding new turf.

No, it’s mainly because sheep are dumb. For some reason, they get distracted and fail to follow the tail in front of them.

So even though we characterize Jesus of Nazareth as being the benevolent Savior who loved mankind, he was also fully aware of the nature of our personality–the desire to avoid difficulty and therefore actually stumble into more of it.

Is there any way for us to become more enlightened sheep without ending up being horny goats? It’s an interesting proposal–one that would be well worth discussion.

But certainly, there should be adequate warning that since many of our efforts are sheepish, that we should be very careful… that we’re under the guidance of the right shepherd.

 

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

*******************

NEW BOOK RELEASE BY JONATHAN RICHARD CRING

WITHIN

A meeting place for folks who know they’re human

 $3.99 plus $2.00 S&H

$3.99 plus $2.00 Shipping & Handling

$3.99 plus $2.00 Shipping & Handling

Buy Now Button

 

Azure

Azure: (adj) bright blue in color, like a cloudless sky.

Upon looking at today’s word, I immediately knew it had something to do with blue.dictionary with letter A

I knew this because I took two years of high school Spanish. During those lessons, I discovered that “azul” is the Spanish word for” blue.”

I suppose I should feel grateful; gratitude should pour from me because I have some understanding of the terminology of another language.

And the truth is, if I landed in Mexico City, I could share a Spanish greeting of “good day, good afternoon or good evening,” ask them where the local library was or how many pencils they possessed. I also could count from 1 to 30.

If I listened in on a conversation, I could probably identify every forty-third word.

I suppose if I were to decide to pick up the Spanish language for real, my basic rudimentary training might stir some memory cells which have escaped behind my mental burrito.

But aside from that, possessing a little bit of knowledge truly is a dangerous thing. It’s similar to individuals who, when asked if they speak Spanish, hold up their thumb and index finger about an inch apart and reply, with a lame accent, “Poco.”

Which, by the way, means “a little.”

There you go.

I speak a little Spanish … which truly is the definition of a little bit of nothing.

 

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

*******************

NEW BOOK RELEASE BY JONATHAN RICHARD CRING

WITHIN

A meeting place for folks who know they’re human

 $3.99 plus $2.00 S&H

$3.99 plus $2.00 Shipping & Handling

$3.99 plus $2.00 Shipping & Handling

Buy Now Button

 

Aye

Aye: (exclam) an exclamation said to express assent; yes.

It often baffles me.dictionary with letter A

Why do some people like to find the most difficult way to do things?

Maybe it’s my natural lazy nature. but I think taking just a few extra minutes to decide on the easiest and most logical way to accomplish your deeds is well worth the time.

I have no allegiance to any form of religion or politics. In both cases, I pursue common sense.

So when I find myself, on rare occasions, in meetings where Parliamentary Procedure is being honored as the correct way to conduct business, I am initially amused but ultimately aggravated.

As you well know, in the process of trying to follow this archaic system, arguments often break out over points of order. Soon it becomes more important whether Jim or Sally have chosen the right moment to begin discussion than the actual topic on which the vote is being taken.

So when I see the word “aye” it reminds me of that stuffy question posed: All those in favor say “aye.” All those opposed, “nay.”

  • I never say “aye” in my regular life.
  • I am also unaccustomed to “nay.”

So call me unconventional, or perhaps a renegade–but I do not like to do things, even for ten minutes, that have absolutely nothing to do with my functioning life. I find them them silly and annoying. So these are the three phrases that I avoid religiously:

  • “Please repeat after me.”
  • “Is there a second to that motion?”
  • Point of order.”

Perhaps, at the root of my soul, is an anarchist or a revolutionary.

I’m not sure.

But Parliamentary Procedure belongs in Parliament, which is part of those nasty English that we fought so hard to get away from.

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

*******************

NEW BOOK RELEASE BY JONATHAN RICHARD CRING

WITHIN

A meeting place for folks who know they’re human

 $3.99 plus $2.00 S&H

$3.99 plus $2.00 Shipping & Handling

$3.99 plus $2.00 Shipping & Handling

Buy Now Button

 

Ayatollah

Ayatollah: (n) a Shiite religious leader in Iran.

I would like to broaden the definition of “asshole.”dictionary with letter A

It’s not that I want to use the word more. You can feel free to change the term if you so desire.

I believe an asshole is anyone who promotes his or her peculiarity as making them better than other people.

Whenever I see pictures of clerics of all religions, wearing their costumes and establishing their dominance through facial hair, robes and funny hats, the first thought that comes to my mind is “asshole”–especially when they begin to espouse that their particular garb and gab is supreme.

Here’s what I think: if you need a costume to promote your ideas and it’s not Halloween, you are officially an asshole.

Because my understanding is that the great men of history, who truly had something important to say, were very careful to blend in with the masses, using a common head and a common thread instead of standing afar off and yelling extreme disapproval at the top of their lungs.

So to all the priests, preachers, mullahs, ayatollahs and dollies who apparently breed llamas, I pronounce you irrelevant.

You will remain irrelevant as long as you insist that you have come to save the world, which generally speaking … you choose to condemn.

 

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

*******************

NEW BOOK RELEASE BY JONATHAN RICHARD CRING

WITHIN

A meeting place for folks who know they’re human

 $3.99 plus $2.00 S&H

$3.99 plus $2.00 Shipping & Handling

$3.99 plus $2.00 Shipping & Handling

Buy Now Button

 

Axle

Axle: (n) a rod or spindle (either fixed or rotating) passing through the center of a wheel or group of wheels.dictionary with letter A

If I weren’t stupid, I would have no stories to tell. Smart people have a list of accomplishments instead of tales of mayhem.

I was a mere 24 years old and driving along in an airport limousine that looked like it should have been used in a 1940 Clark Gable movie. It had six seats in it, dual air conditioning units, and even had a metal cage in the rear to protect the luggage.

It was the most unpredictable vehicle I have ever driven.

First and foremost, you could not drive over 55 miles per hour because of some sort of “governor” they had placed on the engine.

But I was grateful to have it so that my singing group could travel across the country and annoy people with our increasing prowess.

One night as we were leaving Jacksonville, Florida, we noticed that the back passenger-side wheel was wobbling a bit. These are things a normal adult would be concerned about, but not a 24-year-old vagabond.

To counteract the wobbly wheel, I tried to drive faster. Suddenly I looked in my rear-view mirror and noticed that the back of the limousine was lighting up.

This seemed unusual.

So I pulled over and discovered that the rear of the vehicle was on fire.

I did have enough mechanical understanding to recognize that this fire was very near the gas tank, so I got the members of the group out, and we ran about a hundred yards away and watched it burn.

I thought about doing something brave, like taking off my shirt and beating out the flames, or trying to acquire some water from a nearby ditch to extinguish the blaze–but I didn’t.

We watched it like it was the latest release from Hollywood.

“Hmmm,” I thought. “The axle of my limousine is on fire…”

This was the end of my reasoning.

Fortunately for us, a truck driver arrived with a fire extinguisher and put out the flames as we gradually, but bravely, inched forward.

He was also kind enough to take his “breaker-breaker” radio and get us a tow truck.

The whole back axle was destroyed.

I guess someone felt sorry for us, and the man who worked on the vehicle replaced the whole axle, put on a new tire and only charged us $150. We even found a family to stay with while it was being repaired.

It was a remarkable event.

But still, every time I hear the word “axle,” I have the instinct to run like a little schoolgirl.

 

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

*******************

NEW BOOK RELEASE BY JONATHAN RICHARD CRING

WITHIN

A meeting place for folks who know they’re human

 $3.99 plus $2.00 S&H

$3.99 plus $2.00 Shipping & Handling

$3.99 plus $2.00 Shipping & Handling

Buy Now Button